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Dating and Marrying Chinese Girls

和中国女孩谈恋爱和结婚

Guest article by SamReeves

Sam Reeves has lived and worked in China for over eight years. He is the author of 'Chinese Dating Secrets Exposed', a book to help non-Chinese navigate the complex subject of dating and marriage with Chinese women.

The Challenges of Inter-racial / inter-cultural Relationships

Bruce Lee and Linda Lee

Bruce Lee breaking so-called cultural norms, with his wife Linda Lee (Linda Emery). Little Known Fact: Bruce Lee was one quarter German, on his mothers side.

Anyone who’s ever been part of an inter-racial couple will know how it can be a headache on occasion; not only do you have to deal with curious looks on the street from other people, but even friends will sometimes ask ridiculous questions such as “what’s it like?”, as if you happen to be dating an alien. In the relationships I have had with Chinese women, to be honest, there have been occasions where I have felt they were from another planet.

We all know Chinese culture is different, but it’s the degree of difference that creates the problems. In America Caucasian males and Asian females make up the vast majority of the known inter-racial marriages; obviously it can be taken as a given that a large number of those Asian females are Chinese in origin, bearing in mind China has 1.3 billion people, not even including other countries nationals born of Chinese ancestry. Having a relationship with a Chinese female either within China, or outside of China can bring up a multitude of unforeseen problems, yet it’s not as if inter-racial dating and marriage is anything new.
» Continue reading “Dating and Marrying Chinese Girls” »

Love Through Actions

通过行动的爱

Guest article by Travis

Travis Lee (http://www.travis-lee.net) is a current contributor to China expat blog Lost Laowai. He lived in Wuhan for two years, where he taught, studied and devoured copious amounts of 热干面 [hot dry noodles]. He currently resides in the United States.

Wo Ai Ni

My Chinese wife rarely says “wo ai ni” (“I love you”).

One day at dinner I remarked offhand that I had worn holes in a pair of socks. It was just one pair; God knew I had plenty more at home.

She showed up the next day with a new pair. Like I said, she rarely says “wo ai ni“.

Perhaps she doesn’t have to.
» Continue reading “Love Through Actions” »

Why Chinese Men/White Women Couples Are Rarer Than White Men/Chinese Women?

为什么中国男人和白人女性的情侣比白人男人和中国女性的罕见呢?

Interracial Couple

Interracial dating and marriage is a natural phenomenon in the countries where people of different races live together. Of course, the proportion of interracial couples is smaller than in the imaginary experiment where partners are paired in a totally random way. It shows that we do have a preference to date and marry people from our own racial group… But this is hardly a surprising fact.

More interesting patterns can be discovered if we take a deeper look into statistics. One of such patterns – when it comes to Asians, and especially Chinese – is related to the gender disparity in interracial marriages. That is, the number of Chinese women marrying white men is 2 to 3 times higher than the reverse tendency (Chinese men marrying white women).

Different explanations have been offered for this phenomenon. Here are some of them:
» Continue reading “Why Chinese Men/White Women Couples Are Rarer Than White Men/Chinese Women?” »

Long Distance Relationship

分隔两地的爱情

Many of my blog readers are involved in long distance relationship. There is no doubt that lengthy separation presents a serious challenge for lovers and not every couple passes the test. As someone who has the first-hand experience, I’d like to give my opinion on this topic and describe the dos and don’ts of LDR.

1) Communication
Those who read the series of articles related to Erich Fromm’s book “Art of Loving”, remember that in one of the posts I tried to show that love is a job that requires a lot of discipline. The way in which your communication beats the distance every single day is the chance to prove that you are ready for this job.
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Problems with mother-in-law

和“婆婆”的问题

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-lawIn-laws, and more specifically mothers-in-law, can be a thorn in the side. This problem is ubiquitous in all cultures and Chinese are not exception.

In China, however, it is aggravated by the fact that parents often live in proximity with their sons. After all, it’s their implied responsibility to take care of grandchildren.

Of course, most couples prefer to have their own apartments, but not everyone can afford it. In such cases, young couple and husband’s parents live under the same roof. This “cohabitation” is not always peaceful and happy. And if things get really bad, some families stop caring about face and “declare a war”.

This is exactly what happened to a Chinese girl whose story was published by her friend  on one Chinese site. Below you can find the adaptation of this story.
» Continue reading “Problems with mother-in-law” »

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