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Ask Chinese Girls: Would Chinese Girl Date a Black Guy?

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Iverson

Iverson... dream man of Chinese girls?

Here is another post from the series “Ask Chinese Girls” featuring the translated answers of Chinese netizens to the question asked by LoveLoveChina readers (through Formspring).

This time the question is directly related to inter-racial dating and sounds like that: “Would Chinese girl date a Black guy?”

However, before posting in forums, I slightly changed the question to (1) make it more personal and (2) allow Chinese guys also express their opinion (although in the end most respondents anyway were females).

So the final formula was: Can you imagine yourself dating a black person?”

Background:

  1. Ethnically, China is very homogeneous – Han Chinese constitute about 92% of China’s total population. Such homogeneity can be one of the reasons for what is seen as racism of Chinese people – topic which has been lively discussed in our forums.
  2. One of the recent incidents in which Chinese people could face their own attitude towards Black people was the case of Lou Jing – half-Black Chinese girl who participated in singing competition and became a topic of discussions in Chinese forums with many comments being highly abusive and racist.
  3. Often remark brought into discussions about prejudice to black-skinned people is that Chinese have a clear preference for pale complexion and can go great lengths in order to have whiter skin.

Note: There were a total of 24 answers and even though some of them were short (like “Yes” or “Not”). I decided to post all of them so that you can evaluate the approximate proportions.

***

That’s normal.

Although it sounds strange when we think of it, if you have feelings to each other it might be normal.

Yes.

Why not?

Dating a Black guy should be very interesting.

Where are you from? [From Crystal - such response can be explained by the fact that my question sounded strange and unusual for Chinese forums]

No, I cannot.

When  destiny finds you, nothing is impossible. It’s the same as when Chinese marry foreigners. Black people are also people. [From Crystal - pay attention that respondent puts Black people in the category separate from “Chinese” and “foreigners”. Indeed, when we – Chinese – talk about foreigners or Westerners, if not said otherwise we almost always mean “white”]

It’s not a bad idea to date once or twice, but a serious relationship is almost impossible.

It’s OK.

Yes.

I can imagine. The future child might be brown.

Cannot imagine. Feels horrible.

In this world nothing is impossible.

When love comes, it doesn’t matter if he is black or white.

This question is interesting.  In fact, abroad Black people are valued much higher than our Asian men. They think that White people are number one, Black are second, Latino are third, Mexican are fourth and  Asian are the last. Because Asian men are not sexy, not energetic and not humorous. Abroad there is no race in love. Key point is the feeling and whether they can get along with each other. How can one eliminate or choose a person because of skin colour? Of course, if you can’t accept, it’s (also) absolutely OK.

Is Obama also black? He is president!

But we Chinese still can’t accept someone from another race or someone very different from ourselves. (Non-Chinese) Asian men are easiest to accept as we belong to the same culture. If they are White, it’s also comparatively easy to accept cause their culture is spread all over the world. If they are Black, we would have resistance both phisically and spiritually.

We need more contact. If the feeling is good – it will be also OK. But it might take some time.

Yes. Because (I) can love someone who looks black, but cannot love a man who is black inside.

If they love each other – why not? Do you need to measure love by nationality?

Unbearable… Black skin and body are too different from ours, Easterners.

My friend!  Are you OK? How can you even ask such question?

No, because  I don’t like Black people.

I can’t imagine.

I have never thought of it. It’s horrible.

Well, if he was Iverson, I would say yes.

***

Want to ask Chinese girls a question? Submit it here.

  • http://wanderingamericantravelblog.blogspot.com/ WanderingAmerican

    I’m sure most of the people who said they would didn’t consider their family’s reaction. I’ve heard some stories about the Chinese partner having a black boyfriend/girlfriend and being very happy but having to break it off when the family refused to accept them. It’s definitely a different experience for black people dating in China. It’s not fair but there it is.

  • http://www.magnoliaarts.com ZhuBaJie

    Maybe it’s getting better with the youth, and with China’s recent investments and interest in Africa (lots of billboards now). I remember seeing some African students in Beijing in the 80s and felt sorry for how they constantly got gawked at — I also got gawked at, but not in the same denigrating way.

    I’ll bet this kind of relationship is almost unheard of with any Chinese women over 35. I’d be interested to know if I’m wrong.

    I’m still working on my wife about this (she’s 53); I make it a point to mention how beautiful the black skin looks on some people, on TV, movies, posters, whatever, and tell how how mixed-race people are often thought of as particularly attractive in the West (Halle Berry, anyone?). I think she’s gradually coming around, but she definitely had a “the whiter the more beautiful” attitude when we first met. Having said that, I’ve never heard her say anything negative about black people either in general or specifically, other that she didn’t like the skin color.
    I think it just has to do with the fact the she (and most Chinese) have little or no experience with people from other cultures and with other physical features.

    I agree with Wandering, it’s one thing to say you’d do it on a web forum and another to really date a black person given the culture/family/circle of friends.

  • JY

    I can genuinely say that most of the people that said yes would never actually do it.

  • ziccawei

    I have a friend, a black guy, he is married to a Shanghainese woman. In Shanghai things might be a little different. I see black guys with Chinese girls here. It’s not common but it happens.

    • Bored in Melbourne

      Perhaps he is a big spending type? :mrgreen:

  • korean_guy

    Chinese are the most racist Asians out of Pacific Rim: A Chinese racist will make a Korean look like a saint. There’s no way a Chinese will date a black guy.

    • http://www.magnoliaarts.com TLB

      “There’s no way a Chinese will date a black guy.”

      This is definitely not true as an absolute statement; I saw several black men/Chinese women couples in Beijing last year (all 20-somethings). As for comparing Chinese to other Asians, I can’t help there; but I will say that a friend who is married to a Japanese woman (and who spent 3 years in Japan and is fluent) says there is a huge prejudice against all foreigners (including westerners) in Japan, much more so than in China.

      • korean_guy

        My statement was meant to be taken generally. And generally Japanese girls love black dudes.

      • korean_guy

        “I saw several black men/Chinese women couples in Beijing last year (all 20-somethings).”

        Some Chinese woman would date various foreigners including blacks, but in secret (and if a Chinese guy found out a Chinese girl dated a black guy he would not dare go for her – Chinese guys are extremely insecure & fragile, last thing they need is a girl who had the mythical black [censored] and Mao forbid she compare it to his little rice [censored]). I’d also be surprised to see a typical Chinese women going against their parents wishes not to date and marry a black man. Truth is ALL Chiense parents are racist against blacks and unlike white women a Chinese women will almost always acquiesce to their parents.

        Yes TAP SUM BONG!

        • Bryvakin

           Chinese have no option bt,to live in denial.Africans rock!Well,as a matter of honesty they claim that Chinese /Asian men have mini penis and thus Sex is not at all interesting.An African man will give it to you as a full package and oh,yeah!

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_FMQOVZLBMGTVESCZUPBBSUM7N4 Dag Rune

            In scandinavia chinese and other asian women prefer white men before black men, but I dont understand why. White scandinavien men are often very shy against women, so why chinese, thai philippina women often like the is a mystery for me. Black men are much more sexual aggrisive agaisnt woman than shy scandianvian men so I dont understand why asian women are interested in them.

        • Cb

          There you go again with that “ALL” BS. Dude, you can NEVER be 100% certain of a statement like that. Wow, you sound so ignorant making it. Check yourself.

    • Bryvakin

       one thing is for sure…Chinese girls who have dated Africans don’t wanna let go!Lets be honest Sex is wow! The package sells like  hot cake…I am going for an African any time…all the time!!!!

      • FederalICE

        Lol wow. Black men like asian women so u should be fine. But becareful who u pick lol

    • Cb

      Yeah, that statement makes you sound VERY ignorant. A better one would be “from what I’ve observed, the majority of Chinese women won’t date a black man”. I live in the US and I rarely see it UNLESS he has money of big time status and power. That’s why I’m on this forum in the first place lol.

    • TW

      You are so wrong! I am Chinese and have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now who is black and originally from the Caribbean. It’s ridiculous to say “no way a Chinese will date a black guy” because they actually do! That statement just makes you look so ignorant.

      I don’t see what the problem is, the colour of skin is just a colour, if you cut us open, we all have blood running through our veins and have the same organs, we are all human at the end of day! For all you racist people out there, take your racist comments and shove it up your ass.

  • Craig

    I have lived in Korea for years. I have to tell you, people here are much more racist than in China. In China, more people will just ignore you or think – well, he must have money, or something else like that. Here in Seoul, if you have a black boyfriend, they just think you’re a whore or a slut. They are very very harsh.

    Of all the cultures in the world the Koreans are the most racist towards black people. One thing that surprised me was how racist Chinese are towards Indians though. Koreans don’t have much contact with Indians so there’s not much to say about it.

    I think that the more contact Chinese have with outsiders the more things will change. This is definitely true in Korea. The older generation would never dream of interracial marriage, but now it’s common among 30-year-olds.

    Theres even a trend for foreign women to marry Korean men.

    It’s not a stretch to think that this will soon be happening in places like Shanghai. Anyway foreigners love the beautiful women there and eventually many of them end up getting married. But if the guy is black, is interesting, but what is more interesting is when the women is black and the guy is Chinese. I know a few couples like this. That’s much more interesting.

    • http://www.lovelovechina.com Crystal

      Take a look at the link below. It’s blog written by a woman who beats many stereotypes.

      She is Black American woman living in China, married to Chinese guy younger than her :!:
      http://lifebehindthewall.wordpress.com/

      And here is the video she made for their first anniversary:
      http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMTc1NTI4MDEy.html

      • http://www.magnoliaarts.com ZhuBaJie

        The young man looks to be very nice, and they make a good couple, IMO. I do notice that, if the photos are rendering accurately, her skin is not really dark. Obviously her features reveal her racial origins, but it might help some that her skin is really not much darker than his.

        • princenasir

          Just going by her facial features and the texture of her hair, that woman is blasian (black & asian mix, like Tiger Woods). I haven’t read her blog, but if I were to meet her on the street, I would automatically assume that she’s mixed.

          It’s funny that we are called “black” when I know women with both black parents who can pass for Asian.

    • http://www.magnoliaarts.com ZhuBaJie

      When my wife and I were in Shenyang registering our marriage (last summer), there were 6 or so other couples doing the same (it’s a place especially for registering marriage with a foreigner). All the Chinese were women with foreign men; of the men, there was one other American, one Russian, and the rest were Korean. This is in Liaoning Province, and there are a lot of Korean businessmen coming in and out all the time.

      • http://www.lovelovechina.com Crystal

        One of my friends is married to Korean guy.
        This summer – when I go to China – I plan to “interview” her and write a post here. :cool:

      • JY

        With all the attention on Korea and their idols(for example Lee Ki Kwang, Taeyang, Junhyung, Rain, the multitude of ulzzangs)has lately you can see why there are more and more Korean-Chinese couples.

    • korean_guy

      Craig

      Chinese are too busy trying to make money. Once most Chinese are above poverty line them racism will rear it’s ugly head.

      “Of all the cultures in the world the Koreans are the most racist towards black people.”

      Not for long. The Chinese just hasn’t gotten to the blacks yet. Again full fledged Chinese racism will leave you thinking Koreans are saints…You haven’t seen crazy Chinese racism yet.

      “One thing that surprised me was how racist Chinese are towards Indians though. Koreans don’t have much contact with Indians so there’s not much to say about it.”

      True, but nevertheless Korean don’t like Indians.

      • http://wanderingamericantravelblog.blogspot.com/ WanderingAmerican

        TAP SUM BONG!

        • ziccawei

          hahahahahah

          :mrgreen:

        • korean_guy

          “I bereeeve I can fry”

          –Billy Hung

  • Bored in Melbourne

    I notice that my Chinese female friend tell me they are attracted to Korean men as they say they feel more manly and masculine compared to Chinese boys.

    However in terms of the most racist I still think that has to go to the Japanese, they truly have a superiority complex and it is just their external modesty that gives the impression that they are being respectful. A European travelling in Japan who speaks fluent Japanese will often find they are suggested not to attend or enter many places as they prefer Japanese only, of course they never say that to your face though.

    Back on topic, I have talked about the Black man question with many Chinese girls and so far not one of them said they would date a Black man. One of them told me she slept with a Black man out of curisoty after he spent all night trying to talk her into bed (she is a very open as well as promiscuous woman), but she said in the end that guy was rubbish and not that big at all….

    In terms of Indian men, yes they all make subtle comments that they would never date an Indian man. However I have noticed around town a few younger Chinese students with Indian guys that seem to be either a close friend or boyfriend. Perhaps things are changing.

  • Orthodox

    All the pro- comments amount to saying love is color blind, they don’t actually say they would date a black guy. So they can understand it, but probably wouldn’t choose it. You can get the same answers in most countries, and behavior is similarly far different. People are generally attracted to their own race/ethnicity, more so women, based on dating site data in the U.S. Based on those data, it also seems the men are more willing to date anyone, and the reason for the more common Asian female/Caucasian male couple, for instance, is due to Asian females willing to date Caucasians more than other non-Asians, but even those numbers were very low relative to their willingness to date Asian men. So even in America, where it is probably easiest to have an interracial relationship, people still tend to prefer their own group.

  • sarah

    I admire some of the honest answers. Some refer to “possibility”, but avoided refer directly to “I”. Crystal, you know the truth. I think prejudice is everywhere. Time has changed. Dating is personal choice and we should respect individual’s choices. Again, I believe love conquers all.

  • Sasha

    Females’ prospective on this topic; I am a girl who happens to have many friends from the Caribbean and South America. I’ve read most of the comments… I’ve been also fortunate enough to have many Chinese friends, both male and females. Most of my Chinese female friends are all in relationships with Asian men (Chinese). Being curious I often enquirer of why aren’t Chinese women in particular not interested in our Caribbean or Black men, their response,(1)they’ve never even thought of the idea of being with a foreigner much less a black man, or (2) their family would never accept this; In fact one of my best friend, I would consider him quite the intercultural type, handsome who dresses really well (Designers) but unlike the western world, America, Canada, UK this doesn’t impress the Chinese females, they do not appreciate the beauty of a black men nor are they impress by what you’re wearing. The biggest reason for this is…..I don’t know. Give it a break guys, stick to your own or keep dating Whites.

  • sarah

    Well, from my own experience…the black man asked me out . He was my fellow student in graduate school. He was dropdead georgeous. Yes, I wanted to go out,but the back of my mind I knew if I had relationship with him, it would not go anyway. My family wouldn’t accept it. So I decided not to. It wasn’t my own prejudice. My best friend is black. However,in some cultures people do care if their spouses would be accepted to their families. Who can blame them right?

    • PL

      With respect, Sarah, why don’t you stand up to your family?

      • sarah

        There are more than life to stand up to,other than my family. That is what I think still. I have dedicated my life to fight for things or causes that are worth fighting for. I have chosen my battles. However, I have ended marrying the man whom my family would have not approved either. It took years to prove that a good man is a good man despite the color of his skin.

      • Midnite

        I agree…My Chinese girlfriend won’t stand up to her family. She’s 25 years old, and we love each other…But, I’m in a situation where I don’t know if we are actually going to stay together and I’ve put so much into our relationship. Her parents don’t even want to give me a chance to get to know them or give me a chance to let them get to know me. So, I’m just about at a cross roads.

  • Louisa

    I’m Chinese (well, Chinese American). My first boyfriend was black. It was weird for my parents, but they accepted it and didn’t say much after initial arguments. I guess they were relieved when we broke up, but that wasn’t because of race but because he has some personal problems to deal with, and wasn’t in the right mindset for a relationship.

    We’re still friends and have occasional conversations.

    I don’t know where I’m going with this, but Chinese girls dating black men does exist. And it may or may not work out. It all depends on the person.

  • Canney.Lam

    As long as I’m happy and get along well with him,doesnt matter what skin color he has . Everyone has their own shinning spots,personalities are more important than what and how one looks like .

  • Tie Ridge

    Well to read these post I must weigh in on this one. I am an american an I can tell you Blacks are the most racist people I have ever meet. Now if you really want to know the black man just look up prisons in the States. They are full of blacks better stated from the age of 18 through 24 80% of the black are in prison. Hello to date them you get what you ask for. The norm is to beat there girl friends/wifes. No Im not racist I was raised with the blacks. I have seen it all an no I will not say all blacks are bad jus 80%.

    • princenasir

      That’s funny because 80% of the black people I know have never been incarcerated or even so much as had a speeding ticket. What numbers are you looking at again? :lol:

  • Mia

    I have a close Laos friend who dated a black guy for a short time. He abused her, stalked her, and was unfaithful. Seems like all black guys are players. He even hit on her sister! What kind of guy is that?

    When I think of others who have dated black, it has always been troubled relationships and black guys mooch off girls.

    No black guys, they are trouble.

    • namenotgiven

      http://www.alternet.org/media/41857

      Are you sure about that? A no good man can be found in any culture. Girls gotta vet em real carefully, no matter what race.

    • princenasir

      Yes…because one guy who happened to be black was a dirtbag, that means every black guy must be a dirtbag. I too had a close friend who as Laotian. She LOOOVED black guys. As a matter of fact, I may be the only black guy she spoke with regularly that she did not sleep with since she was like a sister to me.

      Because my play-sister loved jumping all over black guys so much, can I then say that all Asian women will sleep with almost any black man who is not a close friend?

      Kinda messed up how that sweeping generalization thing works, isn’t it?

      Ignorance is bliss… :roll:

    • “Furious” George Rockwell

      I have traveled Asia and White guys do the same thing; they just get a pass for it.

  • yao

    Chinese girls are nowhere near racist as Korean women. I would say the same about Japanese, though not as much. Chinese are probably the least racist of the three. I have dated many Chinese women (despite not being Chinese – I’m not white/black/indian either).

  • yao

    i forgot to add… of course skin color is going to prove to be a barrier in these kind of situations but if you can show you’re mature, humorous, intelligent, accomplished, charmy, sexy, etc etc you can get just about any girl :)

  • Sfphoto1

    How about the late Taiwanese singer Teresa Teng? Her husband is black.

    • Bryvakin

       Never!!!The guy was played,he thought he had a wife bt,check it out on wikipedia ;they dont say a thing about her being married.
      No, Teresa Teng was
      never married. She was born on January the 29th 1953 and passed away on
      May 8th 1995. This happened at the age of 42. For more information,
      visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teresa_Teng#Death_and_commemorations.

    • Bryvakin

       Well,Wikipedia states clearly she never married.who is lying here?or who is being lied to?If the husband was from Europe would it have been a different case?people should learn that no one has a right to shut no one out….color is only skin deep.

  • CaptainPlanet

    100% of Chinese guys’ thoughts: “Oh, you used to date a black guy? My, would you look at the time?”

    80% of Indian guy’s thoughts: “I’m actually arranged to get married in
    India though I don’t mind shagging some Chinese girls while I’m here,
    but I don’t want to risk getting an STD from this ho.”

    75% of White guys’ thoughts: “She seems to be an open-minded gal, but I came to China to find a Chinese girl, not white trash.”

    50% of other Black guys’ thoughts: “Oh you dated Jamal? You’z too played out pho’z me.”

    Most guys’ immediate thoughts: “I’d nut on her face and treat her like a dog, that’s about it.”

    The girl’s naive thought: “Love is color blind!”

  • Uncle Benny

    Some people really need to open their minds as well as their hearts. You should know that if you are lucky enough to find real love with anyone you should be grateful and not focus on the outer shell of what they look like. Also you should know that with every group of people there are different types and black people are no exception. So think in terms of an educated black man. Someone who goes to college, works hard and has manners. Please do not think for one second that all of the criminals, losers and thugs are the only black men around.

  • khalil

    chinese girls should date a black guy.why they cant its not fair never judge a man by the color of their skin but the content of their character

  • Bryvakin

     Chinese girls are gold diggers…they are looking for men who are well off financially.In China its not about genuine love…its about  how much is your monthly salary?do you have a house?do you have a car?Women especially are too superficial….if as a man you have all this then,the women are good to go!That is why marriages are not working in China…….the divorce rate is increasing day by day.This wealthy men give you all that  and what you get in return is a husband who is never home coz he is sooooo busy with the mistresses!Anyone who wanaa prove me wrong?

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/56PRZZDWAAHBW6RCXAMRJ2K4W4 reneleroi

    I’m surprised in seeing lot of expat willing to date chinese girls.did u look at them? I’m living in China already 6 months and I did not see a pretty girl yet,they are really ugly!! are badly-dressed, slightly edited, have no taste at all, they spit on the ground.don’t see anything sexy….

  • Pete

    I have to say that some of the people here are total id10Ts; uneducated and never studied history. For example, my GGGGrand dad was Chinese, Scottish and Irish GGgrand mother, Spanish and English, India ….yes there’s more…my mom looks Chinese, Spanish, Asian  in the mix…now what color skin do I have? You will never guess; or by the way my dad is black?
    You clowns say …I cannot marry a black person. There are people all over the world with black blood yet they do not look black. Therefore, you may marry is white person and to put bluntly, you may just walk out the hospital with a “Half Breed”.
    Learn some history ……u bright people

  • Don

    This a black guy anyone care to chat of skype add me up seyourtt

  • thewaysg

    As an ethnically Chinese (as in Han Chinese) guy, I have this to say: The answer to a hypothetical question doesn’t mean squat, really. When love comes around, it won’t matter if the other person’s black, white, yellow or from someplace else on God’s green earth. As a man, I take issue with the response listed last though. Seriously, what can anyone possibly find attractive about Allen Iverson. I mean seriously?!

  • Jack

    chinese girl would love to date black guy..the question is wether black guy wants a chinese girl…the answer is a complete “NO”. Reasons stem from nasty pubic hair to being totally useless in bed…

  • Jack

    all races of women want a black guy…but only chinese, black and white guys want a chinese woman… so the chinese women has limited options…and even then, they are competing with all races of women…unfortunately they dont get many guys here in th US

  • Ed

    Iam black, and my girlfriend is chinese .. … it does happen .. .

    • Midnite

      How was it with her parents? I’m having trouble with getting her parents to meet me and get to know the real me. They are not making it easy…

  • Bob Li

    There is no normal Asian woman wants to marry a black man only the idiot ones or the bitches one. I can proof you that if you don’t believe me because I’ ve conduct the survey from all Asian woman all over the world