My story began few years ago. Ironically, it was a very dark period in my life: dog died, no girl, no job. No real future at all.
Then, out of nowhere I meet this beautiful Russian woman from Jordan browsing through Craigslist. Some time and few hundred bucks later did I realize to my dismay that I was the victim of internet scam. Destroyed me for a week or so but I recovered and was back up browsing through, when I came upon this site Chnlove.com.
At first it was curiosity. Then it became obsession.
I read the forums on the site day and night. No job anyway, so what the hell…After a week I bought credits for EMFs (email forwarded message). These EMFs are letters, translated from English to Chinese and vice versa. It works out to average $4 – $6.5 depending on amount you buy. So I dived into trying to find a suitable Chinese woman through this site.
First one I met – her family rejected me because I had no job at the time. But even after I secured a job at Buckland Group in Hunan, they still would not accept. It didn’t matter anyway since by that time I switched to another girl, for whom I eventually moved to China.
Am not going to use her name; we are still friends, yet unsuitable because of too many differences. Her issues were drinking, smoking, gambling – things I will not accept in a wife and future mother of my child. After 5 months we broke it off for good.
After that I’ve been through a slew of other women trying to find the right one. My conclusion: if one pursues this route, 95% of Chnlove is completely corrupt.
Chnlove is an umbrella corporate group based in Hong Kong. Pretty much could I say it is a franchise more or less like McDonalds. Smaller agencies pay royalty fees to be associated with a big corporation that has been around over a decade.
This is how it works. All female members pay large amounts of cash (sometimes a few months salary) just to create a profile. It includes making professional photo session and Photoshop. The male members can sign up for free. Yet if they want to contact a woman they must use the translation system that these agencies have set up. You sent a message in English, and it costs you say $4. For her to read the message costs you another $4!
The whole system is driven by continuous communication whether it is real or just created by translators who generate revenue by sending fictitious romantic EMFs. I’ve personally met some girls who acknowledged that they were refused registration in Chnlove because their English skills were too high! This process can go on for 6-8 months. I’ve heard that some women were not aware of the guy’s presence until a week before he was arranged to visit China.
These agencies get poor slobs on the hook and most never get anything in return. All men want to believe in fantasy of the hot young Chinese woman going for the older guy. But unless you have an amazing body, great job and financially well off – you are just a meal ticket.
As much as I knock Chnlove there is a possibility, yet very slim, to meet through it a woman and eventually marry. But the guys that do marry usually fall into category of fat, ugly, old and desperate. They visit China several times, sometimes over years and then eventually bring the women back to their respective countries.
I moved to China because I believed this was the way to make things work. It was my continence plan. And it brings me to the assimilation part. One of the main reasons why I came to China was the decision to assimilate by living and working here. Assimilation is about how much you really want something.
China Shark Mike has been 24/7 in Shenzhen since January 14, 2009 (had to quit job in Hunan because the school did not like the idea of having a teacher’s girlfriend living on campus with him). Before moving, I read everything I could about Chinese culture, good and bad. I blended right in because I’ve lived in Asian cultures and was married to Shanghainese before. I’ve always been fascinated by Asian culture, so as the saying goes “monkey see, white monkey do”.
Key for true assimilation is tolerance. Dealing with loud talking, cutting in line, dishonest employers etc. If you want to survive, you must learn the mindset of Chinese people. Believe me I was aghast for the first few months living here. One time, when I was in “Carefour” I saw a little girl peeing in a drain about 3 feet away from the live fish tanks… grandmother didn’t seem to mind.
But if you can deal with indifference, you can cope with this culture. Assimilation is about accepting things as they are. You might not like something, yet have to accept that after 5,000 years many things are still the same.
My assimilation was pretty straightforward. I wanted to know every nuance of the culture – so what the hell, I’ll just move here. Somehow students of mine always thought that I’ve been here longer than I really was. Now I just have to start putting in some time learning basic Mandarin.
And when I finally marry, I will be fine with my future.
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