Dating a Chinese : Handling Parents


To date, there are over 1.3 billion people just in the People’s Republic of China alone. This is not counting the Chinese people in foreign countries either working there or have somehow found the love of their lives and moved to a new country. You would think that with this figure, you would find your life partner easily. I mean, with this number, take a blind swing on and online dating site and you could still find someone. There would probably be more than 100,000 people in your area (if living in China).


Don’t get me wrong, finding a date or partner online through Asian dating sites or traditionally can be quite easy, the hard part is for your partner to live up to parental standards. With all the openness we see on TV, Internet and marketing ads, you would think most parents would be quite open, but don’t be fooled. Deep down within themselves is always a bar that your girlfriend or future wife has to meet. This can sometimes be a good thing or a bad thing, after all, parents always wish the best for their children, in this case a perfect bride for their son. The last thing Chinese parents want to lose is their face.


Here are a few tips to win over your partner’s Chinese parents:
1. Let them know how happy you both are
2. Always respect elders even if you sometimes disagree with themselves
3. Don’t keep quiet. Try to engage the parents in conversation (not too much).
4. Always help out
5. Show them you are financially stable (even if you are not billionaire)
6. Show them you care about your family as that translates into creating a loving family.


After all, you are trying to prove that you are suitable even if the boyfriend already accepts you. Don’t take it personal if at first the parents do reject you. Show them that you are trying and a loving person. It is not that they want to interfere, but it is how it has been since the start. Chinese families are usually always close and a tight knit group. Everything done or said is heard by everyone.


Try to actually follow these steps, I wish you all the best and if worst comes to worst, don’t feel sad if it does not work out. At least you have tried your best. But if it does work out, then congratulations and I hope you share on these tips.

4 comments to Dating a Chinese : Handling Parents

  • Harry

    Nice little piece of advice. I’m an Australian currently dating an Asian and sometimes i just don’t get some of the stuff her parents are talking about. Especially at the dinner table.

    • Russel

      You might want to look up a few words in Chinese to manage those dinner table conversations a little better. I recommend starting with ‘fried noodles’, ‘shark fin soup’, ‘dog’ and ‘I’m not hungry anymore.’ ;-)

  • Peaceful

    Thanks,I enjoyed the article. I have been writing a lady for four years but do to unforseen death etc. we have not married yet. However, we plan to rectify this soon. It’s just a shame that our countries make things so difficult as far as after marriage living arrangements are concerned. You would think they would support the happiness of their residents, however, politics and rules always seem to get in the way.

  • There’s only 23.34 million in Republic of China…. if you had 1.3 billion in Republic of China, that island will be overloaded with people. You must have meant People’s Republic of China. Two different countries there. Republic of China is commonly known as Taiwan. And PRC is what you were looking at probably.

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