Imagine that you are a foreigner living in China and want to befriend a beautiful Chinese girl. In the previous article I was talking about the kinds of behavior that would help you to leave a good impression on Chinese girl. However, one should keep in mind that first impression is a very important step in your bet to win girl’s heart. Being Chinese girl myself I want to warn you against some mistakes you should not commit.
First of all, don’t be in a hurry. As the old Chinese saying puts: “If you’re in a hurry, you cannot eat hot tofu”. Same rule applies to Chinese girls – especially hot ones :-). In most cases the quick pick-up methods will not work.
Don’t stare at a girl whom you don’t know. If you do so, it is not uncommon to hear in response something like “Is there some problem with your neck?” or “What are you looking at? Have never seen beautiful girls in your life?”
Don’t approach a girl in the street and ask for phone number as your second sentence after saying “Hi, …” Even if you are handsome as Brad Pitt – your playboy’s behavior will not earn you points and the girl will possibly refuse by saying “Sorry, I don’t know you. Why should I give you my number?” or simply smile and quickly walk away.
Don’t show off your limited mandarin by calling a girl “xiao jie”. Although the formal meaning of “xiao jie” is “miss”. If you call her like that you risk to be treated in most unfriendly way since in today’s slang it has derogatory meaning referring to prostitute.
Don’t misunderstand when Chinese girl says that she is open-minded. The chances are that you are thinking about different things. What girl means is that she is easy to get along with and has extroverted temper.
Be cautious when talking about your romantic past. And save the spicy stories about one night stands for your male friends. Most of Chinese girls have very traditional ideas about it…
Don’t put yourself into trouble by arguing about Chinese politics. You might unintentionally touch some sensitive topics which will make the girl feel bad. After all – you don’t want these issues to ruin your relationship.
Don’t buy expensive gifts before she is your girlfriend. It will only pressure a girl and put her in uncomfortable situation thinking that she owes you something.
On the other hand, do not go Dutch! In fact sharing restaurant expenses would be strange even between Chinese friends as both of them would be eager to pay for another. And naturally – when you date a Chinese girl – you should not wait for her to pay her own expenses.
Never cheat !!! Chinese girls are sincere and frank and HATE to be cheated. If they catch you on cheating – you will never have a way back!
Keeping these simple rules in mind will save you from many troubles. I wish you happy dating.
Your sincere friend and advisor, Crystal Tao