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How to Leave a Good Impression on Chinese Girl

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Young Chinese Couple

So you want to date a Chinese girl? Seems you have a good taste, huh. Let me give you few tips which could help you to leave a good impression.
First of all I want to share a little “secret” with you – for some reason many Chinese girls think that foreign guys are very hairy and tend to sweat a lot.

So my first advice would be to shave properly and in case that nature gifted you with rich hairiness – consider carefully the style of T-shirt that you wear for the date ;-).

Also – avoid using strong perfumes. Chinese girls’ noses are very sensitive and they might make paradoxical conclusions about your reasons to use strong fragrances.

Forgetting the time is only girl’s privilege. You – as a gentleman – must be punctual. And don’t ask your girl why she was late for a date. You must understand that dressing up takes a lot of time! In fact, you should see it as a compliment – since she spent a lot of time to make herself beautiful.

Well – we (Chinese girls) should give foreigners a credit for knowing how to be gentlemen. Don’t miss a chance to prove this point. Give a hand to your girl to help her out of the taxi, open the door in front of her etc. That will definitely make her feel happy and proud.

Flowers always have the magic to make your girl happy. Red and pink roses have an unequivocal message. And lily (which is originally an Asian flower) symbolizing a long-lasting love would perfectly match the roses.

Lets say you decided to go to Chinese restaurant. Hand the menu to your girl and listen to her suggestion. Don’t be surprised with Chinese custom to order many dishes during meals (usually lunch or dinner will comprise  two dishes with meat, one vegetable dish and  bowl of soup). And if you eat hot-pot – then it might be served with 5-10 different supplements!

Oh! One more thing… please postpone eating your favorite “steak with blood” for another occasion.

Chinese girls will always be glad to see you use chopsticks. And if you are not comfortable with them – you can always ask the girl to teach you… hehe…

Note that Chinese people are not crazy about drinking coffee. So – the standard proposal “to have a cup of coffee” would be better replaced with “let’s go to drink something”. Sounds better, huh?

Well – I hope that armed with these tips you will feel more confident. Later you might want to check the articles about mistakes you should avoid with Chinese girls and about the kind of men that Chinese girls like.

Your dating guide, Crystal Tao

  • bulbir singh

    I always thought the most important things were to show up in a BMW, bring along you bank passbook showing a sizeable balance and brag how large your apartment is. The rest (of what you wrote) is plain bullocks

  • http://www.lovelovechina.com Crystal

    Dear “bulbir singh”,
    All I can say is that I feel sorry for you meeting only such kind of girls in your life.

  • ziccawei

    I would say that for the majority of Chinese girls they just want to meet a nice guy.
    Shanghai girls though…. God almighty, even Shanghai guys talk bad about them.
    The trouble is that these girls have bought into their own publicity and think it’s cool or something to behave the way they do.
    Crystal, you live in ChongQing, right? Ever been to Shanghai? Come here and take a look around. Most Chinese girls from outside Shanghai have nothing good to say about Shanghainese girls.

    • nobody

      Being a girl from Shanghai and currently studying in an American high school, I don’t understand why do you have such opinions toward us. Please explain. Thank you

  • http://www.lovelovechina.com Crystal

    Dear Ziccawei,

    I understand that your comment is an answer to the disscusion we had on Shanghaiexpat.

    Once I heard that French say: “Even when woman is wrong, man should say sorry.”

    So EVEN if Shanghai girls are NOT GOOD, it’s not a reason for a man to be anything else but gentleman.

  • ziccawei

    I think that French man and Shanghai woman would be very well suited.

    ;-)

  • http://www.lovelovechina.com Crystal

    Hahaha… I should admit that you have a good sense of humor and won’t have difficulties to leave a good impression ;-)

  • James Roberts

    Thank you Kindly Crystal,
    I am an ordinary man from America, I recently met(online) a very kind and sweet Lady from Nanning. I will be making my first visit to China very soon and I appreciate your help. I want to make a good impression.

  • http://www.lovelovechina.com Crystal

    Dear James,

    I am very happy that you found a nice Chinese lady.
    Wish that everything goes smoothly for you.
    For your other questions, I sent you reply through email.

    Good luck!

  • bulbir singh

    Why on earth would do these things. Chinese girls go ape shit over foreigners – there’s absolutely no reason to impress them as merely being a foreigner is the best impression in itself. Sorry, but I think you think too highly of yourself.

    • TLB

      Hi BS, I’m not sure who the “you” is that you address in your final sentence; if to Chinese girls in general, I can’t speak to that, but if to Crystal in particular, I feel that, after reading her blogs for months now, she definitely does *not* think too highly of herself. Her blog entries are thoughtful and thought-provoking and I’ve found them very helpful.

      Your comment that there is “no reason to impress them” does bring up an interesting topic about the difference between changing behavior to make someone happy versus faking who you’re not so someone will like you, but that’s probably outside the scope of this entry.

  • Surendra

    hey criss
    thanks…i live in chongqing have have a chinese friend she is a girl (not my gf) she also told me sth like this only..lol..

  • Henry

    Dear Crystal,
    How are you!
    i am a French mixture,my father is white and my mother is from Carribean.My wife is Chinese from Shanghai.We married since 17 years ago ,she has gave me 2 terrifics childs ,one very awesome girl and one very awesome boy.
    Everything you say is true.Having travel around the world with my lovely wife ,having live in different china towns of: New york, Los angeles, London, paris,Canada, Germany,Caribbean as Dominica or Jamaica,having live in Hong Kong,in Japan,even in Africa in Congo more shortly,i confirme what you say is true.
    But you should add, that Chinese girls,are the more loyal wife in the world ,are the more sincere,love deeply their family and are very devoted to their child and husband.
    Chinese women are the more pretty women of the world,graceful,a very fine skin,a natural anti aging cells,the chinese woman stay young longer than western women.their physical aspect is very pleasant,i love to see my wife natural.i like her almond green clear eyes, her nose is in perfect adequation with all the angles of her face,her hair is like the finest silk.
    Yes ,if gold i create the perfect woman,it has been the CHINESE WOMAN!what BEAUTIFUL CREATURE!and CHAIRMAN MAO has preserved the Chinese Woman in her perfection avoiding the poisoning of the western habit.May the communist party in China today continue this protection of this rare pearl that is :ACHINESE DIVINE WOMAN!,A REAL RICHEST FOR HUMAN BEING TODAY IN THIS TROUBING WORLD, BECAUSE OF WESTERN TRYING RACE SUPREMATIE!
    So many things to say about western!

    • Bill

      Ha Ha Ha – a thousand years to Mao Zhuxi!

      I really doubt that Chairman Mao had much to do with the most beautiful of creatures, the Chinese woman. Chairman Mao did, in his ham fisted way, help to elevate females from their recent feudal past, but thank an ancient culture that did not (and still has a long way to go) favor girls – and thereby created the beautiful strength in their women, which you see today still (though ultra-modern culture is making inroads into this).

  • Rod

    Ms. Tao,
    Thank you for sharing tips for men who wish to treat ladies right.
    That is, any men, who wish to treat any ladies, right, western or asian.
    This is not an appropriate forum for some to rant.
    Extolling the virtues of Chinese women is laudable though.
    I met a Chinese woman on Match.com.
    I will be meeting her and her family in person in June.
    I am so excited.
    Everything you have said is true.
    Women like men to be sweet to them.
    Men should be sweet to women, not to get them into bed,
    but because they deserve the utmost respect.
    They are mothers and daughters.
    Chinese women risk much in a relationship with a foreign man.
    Unless the man is fully committed, he should not give a false impression.
    I love my future bride with my whole heart.
    I am trying to figure out a romantic way to propose to her.
    I wish to see her schools where she grew up, have dinner with her family whom she loves,
    allow her to show me her city, her country – China – which she is fiercely proud of.
    It is a vast and beautiful country.
    I wish to take her to a nice movie or theatre event, then over a romantic candlelight dinner,
    I will bow down on my knee and ask her to please be my wife forever.
    Thank you, Crystal, and all of you at this website,
    and please forgive the crass, selfish, or otherwise misguided men.
    If they cannot speak to you with respect over the internet,
    imagine how they will treat a Chinese lady in person?

  • Henry

    I read, the email of Rod.
    Thank you for your kind intention toward a woman.
    Chinese women are the best mother in this world.
    I wish you married her and get plenty child and harmonia.
    I wish most,you understand her and show her the finest of your civilisation,because the show today of the western civilisationis pityfull,i mean,war everywhere,racism,hate,etc.
    China,Chinese need peace and respect today.
    Please be an Apostle of peace and love,and built a new world of love and respect foe each other.
    Your future wif should AMAZE you!
    take us in touch!
    sincerely!

  • Rod

    Harmony is a word that comes up a lot with my fiance. She wants a harmonious family. You are right that there is a lot of disharmony in today’s world–especially in the West. So we must stay positive ourselves and keep our homes an oasis where we treat each other as equals with utmost respect and kindness.

    With respect to marriage itself, I wish to ask my fiance’s father for his blessing when I see him this summer. Also, I hope to make a good impression on the family. If things go well (and I expect them to), then we hope to set a wedding date for about six to nine months later. But we will have to have two receptions: one in China, and one in USA, because it will be too difficult for our aging parents to travel that far. I imagine that these receptions will be simple affairs; family getting together at a nice place for a celebration meal to wish bride and groom harmony and success. I would imagine that it is customary for the groom to help out the family with any expenses. What is the most polite way to do this without offending the family? A monetary gift to the brother or to the father, perhaps?

    • http://www.lovelovechina.com Crystal

      Depending on the character of the meeting it might be anything in the range from simple present to “bridal price” monetary gift.
      I think, it’s one of those important things that you should discuss with your fiance.

      Also check out the “Questions and Answers” section in forums on this blog.

    • Nizhonglian0836

      I’m a pure chinses girl. my suggestion is that the promises to stay with their daughter forever on wedding day and actions after wedding day is the best gift to every member of their family…..:)

  • Rod

    I did as Ms. Tao suggested and talked to my fiance about gifts. She is so sweet. She said, “Don’t worry.” Anything is fine as long as it comes from your heart. I trust her so I take her at her word. I will try to find some small gifts that I can afford that are maybe unique to this country and will wrap them nicely with affection. So I agree with Henry that Chinese women are China’s greatest national treasure. But I credit my fiance’s dear mother (now passed) and father (who has never remarried because of remembrance of his wife) for bringing this wonderful person into the world. Just as I do not credit culture, neither do I blame culture for bad things that happen in the world, just the bad people who do them, be they from the East or West, North or South. But let us be happy and treat each other kindly, as I think that disharmony in thought is not good for our families or our women. Okay?

  • Henry

    Rod,
    For the first time, i have Doubt on your intention toward this person. I am very sorry, it could be my lawyer basic instinct!

  • xiong

    i fall in love with a chinese girl….is hard
    even i am a chinese too!!

  • Rod

    Yes, it is hard to wait and follow proper customs. But all good things are worth the effort and patience. Perhaps this is to test our character.

    I enjoyed meeting my girlfriend and her family in China. Her family and close friends approved of me, and she said “yes” when I asked for her hand in marriage, so my fiancee and I are now engaged.

    Because I did not know how to speak Chinese, communication was slow. Thankfully, a daughter of a close friend helped to translate for us. Also, we had technology to help us. Still, it was comical when I proposed. Instead of “hui” (will), I used the word “hai” (sea)…. “Ni hai chengwei wo de chizi ma?” instead of “Ni hui chengwei …” She looked puzzled for a moment as to why I was asking her “sea” to be my wife, then she realized my mistake and laughed.

    Best wishes to you, xiong. I am very happy, and I know you will be very happy too. You just celebrated “Matchmaker Day” August 6. This was very romantic time to show girlfriend your intentions.

  • dan

    do shanghainese girls different from the other ordinary chinese girls? i just moved to shanghai to study chinese language and i find it very hard to speak chinese. do chinese girls like a foreigner guy with limited chinese?

  • Kekonen264

    It looks like I have done everything right here on my relationship with Chinese, actually Taiwanese, woman. We have been together already one year and I will go soon to meet her parents in Taiwan. And i can say I am really nervous. Have been studying Chinese about half year, but still communication with her parents will be difficult. But will try my best. But what I want to tell, I thing being gentleman is my nature. Most of the times I open a car door for her, carry shopping bags, do housework and cleaning. I think we have a silent deal that she cooks and I clean. And she is really good in cooking, she can make so delicious food. Someone might think I am pussywhipped :) But i could do anything for her, she doesn’t need to ask. I just hope that her parents will accept me and we being together.

  • Gwai Lo

    As a whitey that is married to an mainland Chinese chick, I have to say this advice is pretty much spot on.  Just saying’.

  • Slatkin

    The real answer to this topic is “look white.”

  • tyuetchow

    as a chinese girl, this is the most retarded thing i have ever read.

  • Nolan Ryan

    I’ve been dating a Chinese girl for 10 weeks. She speaks very little English. And I have to say, you are spot on! Thanks so much for the tips. This girl is awesome and I am falling in love with her. Don’t want to make any bad mistakes.

  • Jolly

    If you follow these advices with women of any nationality, you will never be able to hook up any women and end up being FRIEND who will hold her shopping bag only forever. Stupid advice. Most Retarded and Worse. Please note that i am a foreigner and i am in China now. I already hooked up 3 hot Chinese chicks. What a useless writing.

  • Stu

    Hello. I need your help. Don’t laugh
    at me please. This is serious. I never thought I would ask such a thing
    on the internet but here it goes. Today I met this girl. A new ‘Chinese supermarket’ opened up on my street and I went there to ask if they were employing
    ‘locals’, often they do here. So I met this girl, she was very nice
    with me, she said they needed people to work there and she asked me to
    leave my name and phone so that her boss could get back to me later. The
    problem here is: I don’t speak Mandarin, she doesn’t speak English (just the bare minimum). I have been in China before, stayed there for 3 months. But that’s
    besides the point, the fact is that I know for a fact that the cultural differences
    we have are an issue, the language barrier is an issue. And that she
    would never ever accept an invitation to go anywhere with me, not even
    for a little walk in
    the public botanical garden that stands right in front of the shop. So,
    ok, I won’t push it. But at least it would be good to have a
    friendship. I mean, nothing wrong with that or is it? I believe you over simplify things here. Maybe you forget that girls
    that have come right from the rural china into a western country are
    afraid of the people here. And they are right. There is a lot of racism
    and disrespect for Chinese people here. OK then, tell me a straight simple tip, like, is it ok to offer her small gifts?, You know like, suppose a person
    feels a degree of empathy for another person that happens to work at
    the same street you live, can I come by sometimes and say Hello? Can I
    bring something, I mean, just a little thing, nothing much, a book,
    flowers, will she be scared because of that? Is there something I should
    avoid saying or doing? Don’t be paternalistic will you? I know very well how to talk with a girl, except Chinese girls just out of inner China.

  • Ranjith Goonethillake

    I NEED CHINESE GIRL FRIENDS AGE 35-40, AS I WORKED WITH THEM VERY INTIMATELY AT THE FREE ZONE IN THE SRILANKA, I NEED THEIR LOVE AND AFFECTION BACK PLEASE, PLEASE USE MY E/MAIL ADDRESS AND WRITE TO ME SOON PLEASE HELP ME, rgoonethillake@yahoo.com

  • saras

    hey i am from india and recently meet a girl from china on internet .we were in relationship .but still confused how to get my lady

  • John Yowza

    what??? this “article” says nothing – no useful advice here, this is common sense stuff

  • josh

    i think some chinese girls only like rich men or boy and practically does not interested in men or boy if they are not rich

  • sg gibson

    I fell in love with a wonderful girl from shanghai,shes kind,smart and of course very beautiful.i believe woman are woman.take care of them,and they will take care of you