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What kind of men do Chinese girls like?

Chinese girls dreaming

Let’s suppose that you befriended a Chinese girl. Leaving a good first impression is not enough. If you want to build a long-term relationship, you should know what personal characteristics are most important in her eyes.

As a kind of disclaimer I’d like to state that I am talking about common Chinese girls living in mainland China

I cannot guarantee for all Chinese girls, but most of us are simple and frank and don’t hide anything behind a smile. As I mentioned in one of previous articles – Don’t make these mistakes with Chinese girls – Chinese girls hate being cheated. Thus a basic merit – is to be honest and sincere.

Be a man of your word. If you made a promise – keep it. No matter how insignificant the promise is in your eyes, don’t break or ignore it. If you constantly break little promises – you will leave an impression of unreliable person. Keep doing so and one day you will find it’s too late to regret.

Be ambitious! Many people note that Chinese girls are very practical. Please – don’t confuse it with greediness. We don’t need you to be rich. But you must have ambitions.

In one forum I read comment of a girl who stated that she likes successful men not because of what they HAVE, but because of their mindset – that same mindset that made them successful.

Caution! Ambitious is not the same as arrogant.

Be filial. Chinese tradition values the filial piety above many other virtues. Thus – pay attention to the way in which you talk about your parents, and respect the girl’s family as well.

Maybe you paid attention that I didn’t advise you to be romantic and sweet. Though the famous saying states that women love with ears – I would urge to let the actions talk about your care and love instead of words.

I hope that you find this reading helpful. Wish you good luck and happiness.

Sincerely yours, Crystal Tao

  • melanie gao

    Love your perspective Crystal. Thanks for sharing these thoughts!

  • Kari

    I would say that Chinese girls are most ambitious looking girls what i have seen. And usually it means more that a mindset.
    I support equality but i can see mostly fishers.
    Honesly would like to hear more other views :)

    • Crystal

      Well… I don’t know if Chinese girls are MOST ambitious, but we are definitely far from a stereotype of subservient Asian girls.
      However, let’s indeed wait for “other” views :cool:

  • Mike_In_Zhengzhou

    China is famous for being the #1 country for one night stands. I would think a strong sense of monogamy would be the 1st trait a Chinese girl would want in a man.

    • Crystal

      Absolutely agree!!!

  • john

    I’m not sure that most Chinese girls would recognise honesty and sincerity.

  • Cap’n Rad

    Some are very VERY ambitious. Meet some Shanghai girls sometime. But so are most women!

  • paulk

    i agree my chinese wife nothing more important than loyalty she has had her heart broken by one cheating man in her life !!!

    the next thing is a family of her own to look after that is her dream !!!!

    i am not even close to being rich !!! she respects me because i am smart and i was constantly going around her home and mama and papas home fixing things like dripping taps and plugged sinks !!!

    her and her family were so happy most of it i could do with my little multi tool set i always carry in my pocket !!!! for me it was nothing !!!

    my wife made me feel very valuable like i just gave her a cadillac !!!! hehehe

    i found out it does not take much to impress chinese people and earn their respect !!!

    especially my wifes respect !!!!

    • Zzz

       Why so many exclamation marks? 

  • Alain1976

    It’s all rather complicated isn’t it?

    Can see why many chinese men make do with sex dolls now!lol…

  • Eric Perez

    I can’t believe I’m even reading this

  • sultan

    I like chinese bussy

  • Jolly

    Crystal – Whatever you are telling here is just what you like as a chinese girl, not what all other people should do. I know how chinese girls are. They are the most greediest species i have encounter in my life. I am a foreigner. I have many chinese girl friends. All of them say only talk about onething with me…how is your country. i want to go there. we can get married soon. Stupid isnt it. So stop giving this useless personal opinion. If you thing you are right than you are probably retarted

  • Fuking rediculous

    Chinese women are the last i wanna date in my life, no tits no ass, extremely materialistc(in shanghai you cant marry one unless youve got a million $ asset) and way overhyped by liberal media here. Trust me Ive lived in China since 2003 to 2011 and there is no such thing as beautiful chinese women. Ask yourself this, whens the last time youve seen a chinese girl with tits? LOL

  • Fuking rediculous

    As Jolly couldnt have said it better himself, and think twice before you think you can outsmart a chinese girl hahah, Jolly got a email id love to chat up with fellow expats anytme ;)

  • nocturno

    A single word: MONEY.
    Everything else is just ‘extra’.
    Don’t waste your time thinking on ‘human values’ (which Neoliberalism has destroyed in China, as in much of the world already).

  • John

    Yep. The chinese women, young or old is all about money. Their God.

  • lived in china since the 90s

    It is very Chinese to have no honest perspective about one self. you are shallow, it is your culture, there are plenty of shallow people elsewhere and they hide it. Don’t hide it, you most certainly do not mean ambitious, you mean that if he has no money now, he will make money in the future. if his ambition was to excel in a field that does not make money, you would leave him. I am not saying this is bad or good. In fact it might just be more honest. just as you know, and accept, but only very rarely admit to accepting, that he ALSO looks at your earning potential (this is what you mean by ambition) and that he also marries you for practical reasons and that is why he goes to pay for sex. Oh and then you say “that is only for old men, forigners” or the very funny “he is too poor for hookers”.
    Forgetting that china is the land prostitution is perhaps the most widespread and accept in the world, both currently and historically, despite a little break under mao. and he had to kill a few dozens of millions to make you people shape up.
    or rather, shape “down”, as prostitutes are the most honest of all woman, anywhere, so let this not be seen as put down on empowered women who help make relationships and marriages in china possible in the first place.
    You also do not mean many little promises. you mean that YOU think he promised something, when in fact he did not.
    this may apply only to cross language scenarios. but saying that “oh look Lagerfeld is on tv” does not mean you were promised a chanel product.
    oh and of course Chinese woman cheat left and right as well, so really you are quite a open sub Saharan type anything goes society.
    so why not be proud of that?

  • Olihtx

    Chinese girl no care what you do or think about her, anyway she will do whatever she want

  • papa

    you are a complete prick.

  • John

    Crystal Clear. Thanks for sharing. I had over 162 women mostly from LiaoNing, NeiMengGu, SiChuan, ShanDong, HeBei, XinJiang, ZheJiang, NingXia, FuJian and a few from GuangDong (particularly ZhuHai and JieYang). I know from experience that Chinese girls are extremely resourceful and committed to their relationship.

    They didn’t love me for white skin, cash or western passport / nationality (as I have none of those)… but I think you’re right, it was the mindset (I had a good plan for the future and I was crystal clear and positive about it). In each of the relationships, it was true love, they wanted it to lead to marriage. The relationship was very real and natural compared to anything I previously had with the mostly spoiled western girls. I really respect Chinese girls and I wish I was still young enough to plan a marriage with a Chinese girl.

    I should add to your facts above. For foreigners who hope to love and settle with mainland Chinese girls, Remember these:

    1. Her family (parents) will always be more important to her than you are. It’s very difficult to change this. So to create and keep a good relationship with her, you have to create and keep a good (or at least positive) relationship with her parents.

    2. Most Chinese girls at marriage age now are the only child of their parents. That means the parents’ love is concentrated on her and her only. Also, the parents’ generation came from the teachings of “Chairman Mao ZeDong”, so they mostly have a preconceived negative perception about foreigners and the foreign world. This means the parents will definitely not like the idea of their little daughter going with you (foreigner) to live in a strange (foreign) country. Therefore if you want this to work well, you may need to take her parents abroad to give them a feel of how things are in your country, they might just realise it’s not as bad as they thought. This will allow them the peace of mind they deserve. Also put in your plan to bring her back to China for every spring festival, spend time with her family… It’s a good thing to see her spend family time and be happy along with her parents at least once a year

    3. Note that many mainland Chinese girls (especially the best modest ones) may not know what life is like abroad. It’s very different from the China life they’re generally used to. So if she travels with you, you need to dedicate time to orientate her, make your country as easy to live in as possible, give her all your attention and be there for her all the time, make everything comfortable for her, make her not miss China so much. Otherwise she will naturally consider other ways to make herself feel better.

    4. As we all know, women (excluding the western feminist monsters who practically claim to be men) are emotional, tender and need to be respected, appreciated and cared for sufficiently… Little things can make her happy, those little things which cost you nothing more than a little time and dedication. E.G – call her from time to time to see how she’s doing at work, if she’s ok, etc… Western girls mostly prefer and independent / freedom life (“I want my space”) and do not require you to do things considering her existence in your life. An Asian girl is the total opposite. A Chinese girl in particular may have grown up used to her parents checking on her periodically… you need to continue that dependence by taking over from her parents to check on her. This boosts a sense of belonging, security and possessiveness (and yes, this is positive). Just do it