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A Complete Dating Guide For Mainland Chinese Women
October 28, 2014
11:12 pm
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Puzzeled
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I came across this post in some other website - http://www.rooshvforum.com/thr.....38876.html

It goes into great details about all kinds of things about Chinese girls and how to date them -

"Why Date Chinese Women

I can say sappy -beep- like, "They are the best Women in the whole world!", but I will spare you that tired cliché. I will provide a short list of their best qualities many of them have:

Chinese Women:

1. Are EXTREMELY Loyal!
2. Are Very Practical.
3. Are very dedicated and express love with actions, not words. Talk is CHEAP to them.
4. Most are very traditional!
5. Are very beautiful, and age very well too!

I could go on and list things like their hair is awesome, they look amazing in qipao dresses, eyes, etc.. but those things are just cherries on top for the most part, and not the main focus of this guide. "

I'm just curious about your opinion.
What do you make of this? Any of this actually relevant?

June 20, 2016
1:32 pm
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llhhw
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Unverified members

First of all, I love this forum. Sorry for posting as a guest, but I registered and it won't let me post or do anything. Wordpress is hot garbage.

Anyway, I am an American, and have been living in China (Zhengzhou, Henan) for a year now. I have had two relationships of any length here (one current) and a few... brief encounters. I'd like to share my thoughts.

First off, why date Chinese women? First of all, have you looked around? If the women here don't do it for you, you may be -beep-, and that's ok. Secondly, they are EXTREMELY loving and caring. In fact, the "taking care of you" thing can get a bit smothering at times.

We will discuss the downsides of Chinese women later.

Now, how do you get them? Well, a lot of that depends on what sort of arrangement you are looking for. We will discuss the two main options... one night stand, and girlfriend with a future.

One night stand - This is ridiculously easy actually. Now where I live, foreigners are still a rarity, and get stared at and fussed over wherever we go. I'm sure if you are in Beijing or Shanghai, that is different. Here, you simply find the bars the foreigners hang out in. You will find that the other half of the crowd is young Chinese women, with some interest in things foreign, some level of English, and more open minded than average, or she wouldn't be in a bar in the first place. Pretty standard bar rules apply here. Nothing too unusual.

I've tried apps, such as Tinder. Waste of time. Utter waste of time. Apparently, here that is more of a social thing, than a hookup thing. If you want to make friends, go for it. If you're looking for love, now, don't bother.

I have actually had women pick ME up in bars here. And I am not hideous, but I'm nothing to brag about either.

You are different here. Do not try to be Chinese. You will fail. Use your strengths. Be different. Embrace it.

In terms of "game" you can pretty much play by western rules. Compliment her. Use good manners (hold open doors, pull out chairs, make her walk on the outside of you in the street, etc.) At first, she will think all this is weird. The compliments will embarrass her, as the Chinese are not much for that sort of thing. She will think your manners are hilarious at first. She may even tease you. But before long, she will love it.

All women crave attention. We know this. I have found that in Chinese culture, the women are starved for it. Their families seem more formal than ours, so while they are very closely knit, it does not seem to be as affectionate. Chinese men seem to rarely, if ever, hit on random girls. When you walk up to a girl and tell her how pretty she is, and American girl will roll her eyes, and tell you to get lost. It will make a Chinese girl's day. And while a chinese boyfriend can be very... doting in terms of gestures and whatnot, both my girlfriends in china, ex and current, said that foreign men are very different because, we actually consider what they want and try to deliver it.

Now, girlfriend. Where to find one of those? That is easy too. Chinese people love to set up unmarried people. I imagine your coworkers will try to set you up all the time. Mine do. In my case, I met a girl in a bar, and over a period of time, it became more.

Now... let's talk about the differences between a relationship with a Chinese woman, and a western woman.

1. BE CAREFUL. For the following reasons... (I am going to assume that you have some sort of conscience here).

a. There are scammers out there. My first Chinese girlfriend turned out, after several months, to be a hooker, who scammed me for a good deal of money, tried to get pregnant, etc. You will find green card hunters. Those that want "half breed baby" as they call it, those that want your money, those that just want face for being seen with a laowai... I'm not trying to say that is a majority. It isn't. Most Chinese girls (and I've met at least a hundred for varying degrees of time and intensity) are very sweet, shy, nice girls. But there are the bad apples.

b. Sex and relationships work differently here. Know one thing... IF SHE IS DATING YOU, AND ESPECIALLY IF SHE HAS SEX WITH YOU, SHE THINKS IT IS LIKELY HEADED TO MARRIAGE... AND SOONER THAN YOU THINK. Just know that. Be up front with your intentions, your requirements, and your problems. I have often found that they have a hard time understanding why a relationship with minimal common language, and a cultural barrier to boot, has to move slow.

c. If you care about not breaking hearts (you should, for multiple reasons) be careful. Let's say you meet a 25 year old Chinese girl. She has, in all likelihood, had one, maybe two boyfriends in her entire life. She may even be a virgin. She is not playing by the same jaded, short term rules that you are used to. If you try to "hit it and quit it" you will very likely hurt her badly. And her relatives may then hurt you badly.

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED ONLY IN A ONE NIGHT THING, FAKE NAMES, AND HOTEL ROOMS IS THE WAY TO GO.

2. Some other differences... Chinese girls are jealous. Insanely jealous. She will watch you put in your phone passcode. She will likely look at your pictures in your phone, and if her English is good enough, read your messages. Be warned. Purge any and all pictures of exes from all social media and devices. Be ready for a fight when you want to hang with female friends. I stand my ground on this issue, but it will be an issue. I once had a girl go into tears and start screaming at me because another girl messaged me at three am and said she loved me. That girl of course, was my little sister, but good luck explaining that to a furious woman who can't speak English.

3. The part of China I am in is very traditional. Sex is not as... advanced as where you are from. let's talk about some of the issues with sex...

a. They don't understand birth control. At all. If you don't wanna be a daddy, take care of that yourself.

b. Among Caucasian males, I am... a little north of average in the package department. Never any complaints, but nothing to write home about. Here, I am godzilla. They gasp when they see it. I had one take a picture and share it on a we chat group. Some girls like that, some girls fear that. Just be aware it may happen. If you are ACTUALLY huge, good luck with that.

c. They are not very experienced. You have to teach them. And that is fun.

d. PDA is a no no. Do not get butthurt if your girl refuses to kiss you in public, or doesn't even like you putting your arm around her in public. Its just how it is.

4. Some other issues I have found...

a. My biggest issue with my current girlfriend is that she is SO submissive. I can never, ever get her to tell me what she wants. To eat. To do. Anything. I have explained to her many times that I do not have a great deal of ability to read her mind, and going into a restaurant that I cannot read the name of, and pointing at random squiggles, is probably not going to result in her being happy.

Her response? "Sometimes I don't know what I want. Sometimes I do, but don't want to tell you. I want you to know." Incredibly frustrating.

b. Family. You have no idea what interacting with a Chinese family is like. First of all, your girlfriend is likely an entirely different person when her parents are around. Mine became a little robot geisha girl. She poured beer for the men, fetched us things, and said nothing. Kind of freaked me out. Also, you are lower rank than daddy. To him, and to her. Deal with it. If you make her choose, you won't like what happens.

c. Beware of taking a Chinese girl drinking. You will likely be carrying her home.

d. Let's talk money. Money in a relationship does not work the same way. If you are dating, you pay. Always. Doesn't matter if its the first date or the fifty first. You pay.

c. She will very likely hit you up for money at some point for something. Tuition, medical, family emergency, etc. How you respond is up to you. You need to understand a few things...

1. You likely make more than her whole family does. She thinks you are rich, even if you don't.
2. In this culture, you exist to take care of her in terms of providing. She exists to take care of you in other ways. It kind of creeps some westerners out, but when in rome... you ain't gonna change it.
3. She likes to brag to her friends about how great her boyfriend is. All women, everywhere do. Things like flowers, teddy bears bigger than she is, etc., go a long long way.

d. You will be expected to carry her purse in public. Yes, the furry pink hello kitty one. Just do it. If anyone laughs (no chinese will, they know the deal) just give them the "hey, I'm getting laid tonight and you aren't" smirk.

e. Be careful revealing your past. She will likely ask (but will never reveal hers by the way, don't ask). If your number of partners is higher than three or four, she will think you are "a flower heart." Edit your number as best as you can get away with. Its none of her business anyway.

f. Be careful giving her access to your "real life" by which i mean social media, friends, and family. Make sure you are ready to be official, because she will start blowing up social media with pictures of you, and may even take it upon herself to introduce herself to your mother. I don't know about your mother, but my mother finds it odd to get messages in broken English from girls I haven't told her about yet.

g. My biggest problem with Chinese women... communication. And I don't mean language. It is EXTREMELY difficult to get a Chinese woman to have a conversation about important things. Like relationship issues. Where is this going? I don't like this, can we work on it. Those kind of things.

I have had more than one woman say "I don't want to talk about it like that, I just want it to happen naturally."

My response "But the thing is, your natural and mine are different, and we don't know what the other is thinking. If I try to play this by ear and by American standards, I will offend, anger, and ultimately hurt you. If you try to play by Chinese rules, I will be utterly confused, you will ultimately become frustrated, and it won't work." They always say they get it. But it never really works.

In summation...

Chinese girls, like girls everywhere, want to be romanced. They want your attention, and even a little sacrifice on your part. I highly recommend that you try to put your western notions and expectations aside, and try to go her way, as much as you are comfortable.

I always say this to a girl I want to date on a serious basis... "I think an inter cultural relationship can be a very beautiful thing. It is hard though. The language. The culture. Nothing is ever going to be easy or natural. But I believe if two people stick with it, and work at it, they can create a hybrid culture that is uniquely theirs. Obviously, I chose to move to your country. So most of the burden of changing is on me. But in order for this to work, you have to be able to come my way a little bit too."

Anyway, good luck fellas. And hey, try to be a gentleman out their. These girls don't deserve to be played, and you're just giving the entire foreign community a bad name.

June 20, 2016
3:32 pm
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luckylaowai
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I am an American, and have been living in China (Zhengzhou, Henan) for a year now. I have had two relationships of any length here (one current) and a few... brief encounters. I'd like to share my thoughts.
First off, why date Chinese women? First of all, have you looked around? If the women here don't do it for you, you may be -beep-, and that's ok. Secondly, they are EXTREMELY loving and caring. In fact, the "taking care of you" thing can get a bit smothering at times.
We will discuss the downsides of Chinese women later.
Now, how do you get them? Well, a lot of that depends on what sort of arrangement you are looking for. We will discuss the two main options... one night stand, and girlfriend with a future.
One night stand - This is ridiculously easy actually. Now where I live, foreigners are still a rarity, and get stared at and fussed over wherever we go. I'm sure if you are in Beijing or Shanghai, that is different. Here, you simply find the bars the foreigners hang out in. You will find that the other half of the crowd is young Chinese women, with some interest in things foreign, some level of English, and more open minded than average, or she wouldn't be in a bar in the first place. Pretty standard bar rules apply here. Nothing too unusual.
I've tried apps, such as Tinder. Waste of time. Utter waste of time. Apparently, here that is more of a social thing, than a hookup thing. If you want to make friends, go for it. If you're looking for love, now, don't bother.
I have actually had women pick ME up in bars here. And I am not hideous, but I'm nothing to brag about either.
You are different here. Do not try to be Chinese. You will fail. Use your strengths. Be different. Embrace it.
In terms of "game" you can pretty much play by western rules. Compliment her. Use good manners (hold open doors, pull out chairs, make her walk on the outside of you in the street, etc.) At first, she will think all this is weird. The compliments will embarrass her, as the Chinese are not much for that sort of thing. She will think your manners are hilarious at first. She may even tease you. But before long, she will love it.
All women crave attention. We know this. I have found that in Chinese culture, the women are starved for it. Their families seem more formal than ours, so while they are very closely knit, it does not seem to be as affectionate. Chinese men seem to rarely, if ever, hit on random girls. When you walk up to a girl and tell her how pretty she is, and American girl will roll her eyes, and tell you to get lost. It will make a Chinese girl's day. And while a chinese boyfriend can be very... doting in terms of gestures and whatnot, both my girlfriends in china, ex and current, said that foreign men are very different because, we actually consider what they want and try to deliver it.
Now, girlfriend. Where to find one of those? That is easy too. Chinese people love to set up unmarried people. I imagine your coworkers will try to set you up all the time. Mine do. In my case, I met a girl in a bar, and over a period of time, it became more.
Now... let's talk about the differences between a relationship with a Chinese woman, and a western woman.
1. BE CAREFUL. For the following reasons... (I am going to assume that you have some sort of conscience here).
a. There are scammers out there. My first Chinese girlfriend turned out, after several months, to be a hooker, who scammed me for a good deal of money, tried to get pregnant, etc. You will find green card hunters. Those that want "half breed baby" as they call it, those that want your money, those that just want face for being seen with a laowai... I'm not trying to say that is a majority. It isn't. Most Chinese girls (and I've met at least a hundred for varying degrees of time and intensity) are very sweet, shy, nice girls. But there are the bad apples.
b. Sex and relationships work differently here. Know one thing... IF SHE IS DATING YOU, AND ESPECIALLY IF SHE HAS SEX WITH YOU, SHE THINKS IT IS LIKELY HEADED TO MARRIAGE... AND SOONER THAN YOU THINK. Just know that. Be up front with your intentions, your requirements, and your problems. I have often found that they have a hard time understanding why a relationship with minimal common language, and a cultural barrier to boot, has to move slow.
c. If you care about not breaking hearts (you should, for multiple reasons) be careful. Let's say you meet a 25 year old Chinese girl. She has, in all likelihood, had one, maybe two boyfriends in her entire life. She may even be a virgin. She is not playing by the same jaded, short term rules that you are used to. If you try to "hit it and quit it" you will very likely hurt her badly. And her relatives may then hurt you badly.
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED ONLY IN A ONE NIGHT THING, FAKE NAMES, AND HOTEL ROOMS IS THE WAY TO GO.
2. Some other differences... Chinese girls are jealous. Insanely jealous. She will watch you put in your phone passcode. She will likely look at your pictures in your phone, and if her English is good enough, read your messages. Be warned. Purge any and all pictures of exes from all social media and devices. Be ready for a fight when you want to hang with female friends. I stand my ground on this issue, but it will be an issue. I once had a girl go into tears and start screaming at me because another girl messaged me at three am and said she loved me. That girl of course, was my little sister, but good luck explaining that to a furious woman who can't speak English.
3. The part of China I am in is very traditional. Sex is not as... advanced as where you are from. let's talk about some of the issues with sex...
a. They don't understand birth control. At all. If you don't wanna be a daddy, take care of that yourself.
b. Among Caucasian males, I am... a little north of average in the package department. Never any complaints, but nothing to write home about. Here, I am godzilla. They gasp when they see it. I had one take a picture and share it on a we chat group. Some girls like that, some girls fear that. Just be aware it may happen. If you are ACTUALLY huge, good luck with that.
c. They are not very experienced. You have to teach them. And that is fun.
d. PDA is a no no. Do not get butthurt if your girl refuses to kiss you in public, or doesn't even like you putting your arm around her in public. Its just how it is.
4. Some other issues I have found...
a. My biggest issue with my current girlfriend is that she is SO submissive. I can never, ever get her to tell me what she wants. To eat. To do. Anything. I have explained to her many times that I do not have a great deal of ability to read her mind, and going into a restaurant that I cannot read the name of, and pointing at random squiggles, is probably not going to result in her being happy.
Her response? "Sometimes I don't know what I want. Sometimes I do, but don't want to tell you. I want you to know." Incredibly frustrating.
b. Family. You have no idea what interacting with a Chinese family is like. First of all, your girlfriend is likely an entirely different person when her parents are around. Mine became a little robot geisha girl. She poured beer for the men, fetched us things, and said nothing. Kind of freaked me out. Also, you are lower rank than daddy. To him, and to her. Deal with it. If you make her choose, you won't like what happens.
c. Beware of taking a Chinese girl drinking. You will likely be carrying her home.
d. Let's talk money. Money in a relationship does not work the same way. If you are dating, you pay. Always. Doesn't matter if its the first date or the fifty first. You pay.
c. She will very likely hit you up for money at some point for something. Tuition, medical, family emergency, etc. How you respond is up to you. You need to understand a few things...
1. You likely make more than her whole family does. She thinks you are rich, even if you don't.
2. In this culture, you exist to take care of her in terms of providing. She exists to take care of you in other ways. It kind of creeps some westerners out, but when in rome... you ain't gonna change it.
3. She likes to brag to her friends about how great her boyfriend is. All women, everywhere do. Things like flowers, teddy bears bigger than she is, etc., go a long long way.
d. You will be expected to carry her purse in public. Yes, the furry pink hello kitty one. Just do it. If anyone laughs (no chinese will, they know the deal) just give them the "hey, I'm getting laid tonight and you aren't" smirk.
e. Be careful revealing your past. She will likely ask (but will never reveal hers by the way, don't ask). If your number of partners is higher than three or four, she will think you are "a flower heart." Edit your number as best as you can get away with. Its none of her business anyway.
f. Be careful giving her access to your "real life" by which i mean social media, friends, and family. Make sure you are ready to be official, because she will start blowing up social media with pictures of you, and may even take it upon herself to introduce herself to your mother. I don't know about your mother, but my mother finds it odd to get messages in broken English from girls I haven't told her about yet.
g. My biggest problem with Chinese women... communication. And I don't mean language. It is EXTREMELY difficult to get a Chinese woman to have a conversation about important things. Like relationship issues. Where is this going? I don't like this, can we work on it. Those kind of things.
I have had more than one woman say "I don't want to talk about it like that, I just want it to happen naturally."
My response "But the thing is, your natural and mine are different, and we don't know what the other is thinking. If I try to play this by ear and by American standards, I will offend, anger, and ultimately hurt you. If you try to play by Chinese rules, I will be utterly confused, you will ultimately become frustrated, and it won't work." They always say they get it. But it never really works.
In summation...
Chinese girls, like girls everywhere, want to be romanced. They want your attention, and even a little sacrifice on your part. I highly recommend that you try to put your western notions and expectations aside, and try to go her way, as much as you are comfortable.
I always say this to a girl I want to date on a serious basis... "I think an inter cultural relationship can be a very beautiful thing. It is hard though. The language. The culture. Nothing is ever going to be easy or natural. But I believe if two people stick with it, and work at it, they can create a hybrid culture that is uniquely theirs. Obviously, I chose to move to your country. So most of the burden of changing is on me. But in order for this to work, you have to be able to come my way a little bit too."
Anyway, good luck fellas. And hey, try to be a gentleman out their. These girls don't deserve to be played, and you're just giving the entire foreign community a bad name.

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