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Do Western husbands go astray in China?
September 6, 2011
5:42 am
Crystal
China / Israel
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Few times I've got comments in different blog posts from Western women expressing their anger over their husbands going astray during their visits to China.

One woman even said that her husband was a "good man" before he went to China!

Here is one representative comment:

I just wanted to comment to all women from the west… do not let your men venture into China by themselves. Sadly but truth, Chinese women are too aggressive and are extremely “money hungry.” They would go to the extent of degrading themselves to do whatever it takes to come over to the west; especially when they are from the rural part of China…
I am ashamed to be a Chinese; Luckily, I consider myself as a Taiwanese.

So, what do you think? Should a woman think twice before letting her husband to go to China on his own??

September 6, 2011
6:31 am
GentleGiant
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I have heard the same for women in GUANGZHOU, perhaps it depends on where in China you are; Guangzhou seems to be full of Chickens if you listen to some people; I know when I was dating the Guangzhou woman she wouldnt let me out of her sight for fear of me being picked up by a bad woman. (There are women worse than her??); and a lot of women from the southern industrial provinces wouldnt talk to a man who had already visited China for fear he had been with a prostitute.

September 6, 2011
8:19 am
princenasir
Nashville, TN
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For a guy who attended Seminary, I don't like to quote scripture, but the saying goes the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. I don't think it's necessarily that Chinese women make a western husband go astray. I think it is more the temptation and attention make it easier to give in to that desire. 

 

I remember being in the Navy and hitting Asian ports-- it was like being a rockstar for a day or two. I have no idea what you guys' experiences are like with the KTV girls (I call them juicy girls) and whatnot, but I was always being grabbed by them. I've been fondled, grabbed, pinched, winked at, and probably anything else you can think up. My first time, I didn't know what to think. By my second deployment it was a little flattering, but no big deal. 

 

My point being, some guys don't know how to handle the attention. It's natural to be attracted to something different, something new. In the end (and this will sound bad) a married guy in these situations has to have a strip club mentality. A stripper is going to hit on you and the next guy and the next guy. Yes she looks hot, maybe she really does dig you, but you're just a number--keep it movin'! 

 

In the end, it takes two to tango. It's not just the women causing these guys to cheat, it works both ways. 

September 6, 2011
8:58 am
Crystal
China / Israel
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princenasir said:

In the end (and this will sound bad) a married guy in these situations has to have a strip club mentality. A stripper is going to hit on you and the next guy and the next guy. Yes she looks hot, maybe she really does dig you, but you're just a number--keep it movin'! 

Wow! I am glad we have you in this forum. Smile

You came up with a practical advice on how to resist the temptation!

September 6, 2011
9:04 am
ziccawei
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I would say that many married western guys -beep- around with Chinese girls.  And I don't mean just hookers, sauna girls, bar girls or ktv girls.  Guys have jobs here where they have assistants, translators, secretaries, under managers, etc etc etc – often female, and often looking for a higher position in the company.

I knew a Chinese guy here who worked in security for Bayer.  He said that there were many issues of foreign guys being caught -beep- their secretaries on the desk in their office when they thought everyone had gone home, or being caught in stairwells, in underground carparks etc etc.

Apparently French guys are the worst – in July and August the whole of France pretty much goes on holiday so the wife and kids go home for the summer.  That's when Chinese girls go to bars where French guys hang out and make their move.  I heard a story of a French bloke caught in bed with a girl half his age after his wife came back early (she had her suspicions anyway).

Yeah, it's the guys fault, but Chinese girls are mercenary and highly calculating – they really don't give a -beep- if they get caught as they have zero guilt about it.

 

Cool

September 6, 2011
9:41 am
LaoSichuan
Beijing
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Several years ago I talked with a HR-guy from a huge multinational company and he said that the divorce rate of foreign employees in his company is about 40%!

In contradiction to that, in my personal experience Chinese women are rather conservative and definitely will respect a marriage. Even an absolutely innocent flirt will come to an abrupt end as soon as I mention that I am married (I don't use to go to bars, may be there you find a different type of women)

September 6, 2011
11:43 am
Elijah
somewhere
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What you have to do is put yourself in the guy's shoes and think: What's there to do for a non-chinese guy in china?

 

9 times out of 10 it's a bar. Most guys I know don't enjoy the KTV experience and there's not much else to do except shopping for whatever.

 

So, take a look at the bars. How many Western women frequent the "designated Western watering hole"? Very few and the few that do are usually married or what not. So then a guy who lives alone in china is left with other Western guys which is fine, but not the quite so fulfilling. 

 

Now look at who might be attracted to these kinds of hang outs. Since most of the "Western" women are married or whatnot, that leaves a bunch of lonely guys. Perfect target for a local girl hoping to experiment discreetly (cause you can't with other locals without it getting out), or a gold-digger looking for a meal-ticket or a -beep- looking for free drinks and taxi-fare etc. etc. As Ziccawei mentioned, these girls have exactly ZERO shame or guilt.

 

So a combination of loneliness, instinct, a massive amount or attention and cheap, easy flesh to gawk at…… 

 

Enough said. If I was married to a guy working in china, I'd be extremely worried too.

September 6, 2011
6:35 pm
RJallday
Louisiana
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princenasir said:

I remember being in the Navy and hitting Asian ports-- it was like being a rockstar for a day or two. I have no idea what you guys' experiences are like with the KTV girls (I call them juicy girls) and whatnot, but I was always being grabbed by them. I've been fondled, grabbed, pinched, winked at, and probably anything else you can think up. My first time, I didn't know what to think. By my second deployment it was a little flattering, but no big deal. 

 

My point being, some guys don't know how to handle the attention. It's natural to be attracted to something different, something new. In the end (and this will sound bad) a married guy in these situations has to have a strip club mentality. A stripper is going to hit on you and the next guy and the next guy. Yes she looks hot, maybe she really does dig you, but you're just a number--keep it movin'! 

Exactly. And for one thing, it's flattering on one end and insulting on another(depending on your ego). Me and a guy I knew were talking about clubs a lot of foreigners go to. We were sharing experiences about going out to clubs and you see a lot of beautiful asian girls. They will be all over you or some foreigner. You will see girls draped over some really overweight socially awkward guy with poor hygiene(no offense to anyone) or a fit fella who takes care of himself. It didn't matter to some of them as long as it was a foreigner. That's the only thing special about you and attracts them to you. Just NOT be from their country and speak English. That's the only standard they have. You really want to be bothered with a someone who has that mindset??  

 

I will say this though. Compared to western women, the average Asian woman is slimmer and probably more health concious. And in these situations probably the type of attention the men recieve from them is probably something they've never experienced not even from their wives. To have some attractive woman(for whatever the reason and not necessarily asian) really into you, lingering on every word you say and worshipping you, it may be hard from some men to resist that. Especially when all they can think about in contrast is an nagging woman who has let herself go and who probably no longer has any interest in sex and but still demands everything from you. I guess I can see them going astray. I really hope I don't run into these kinds of problems in lifeConfused 

I'll do it for a dollar....
September 6, 2011
6:52 pm
princenasir
Nashville, TN
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RJallday said:

Exactly. And for one thing, it's flattering on one end and insulting on another(depending on your ego). Me and a guy I knew were talking about clubs a lot of foreigners go to. We were sharing experiences about going out to clubs and you see a lot of beautiful asian girls. They will be all over you or some foreigner. You will see girls draped over some really overweight socially awkward guy with poor hygiene(no offense to anyone) or a fit fella who takes care of himself. It didn't matter to some of them as long as it was a foreigner. That's the only thing special about you and attracts them to you. Just NOT be from their country and speak English. That's the only standard they have. You really want to be bothered with a someone who has that mindset??  

So I remember in high school how much I used to hate guys from New York or the East Coast in general. They would move down here to Nashville, and all of the girls would just melt when they heard their accent. This was back when Wu-Tang had hit the scene. If some guy from New York said anything about Wu-Tang Clan in that NY accent, he could get just about any girl he wanted at a party. 

So years later I moved to Arizona for a girl. Haha…she dumps me for another guy. Her last words were don't worry, you're going to get a lot of girls now that you're single. I hit a club 2 weeks after the breakup. The minute those Arizona girls heard my southern accent, it was on. I reached a point where I knew if I didn't drink too much, I could get laid any night I went out to party. 

 

My whole point in saying all this is-- for some reason a lot of women get turned on by a guy who is different.  It's no different in Tennessee or California-- and it isn't any different in China. 

 

Haha…so when I finally do get to China, you have to let me know about these clubs with beautiful regular girls looking for foreign guys. I want to take lots of pictures with girls hanging all over me for Crystal to do a new blog entry on Chinese girls and black guys! Wink

September 6, 2011
7:36 pm
estoppel
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Crystal said:

So, what do you think? Should a woman think twice before letting her husband to go to China on his own??

It's not the country he's visiting that's the problem, it's the man.  If the woman has to think twice about letting her husband travel abroad for fear of infidelity, then she likely married the wrong man or she has problems of her own. 

September 6, 2011
8:22 pm
Ian G
Australia, Asia, Pacific region
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RJallday said: "They will be all over you or some foreigner. You will see girls draped over some really overweight socially awkward guy with poor hygiene(no offense to anyone) or a fit fella who takes care of himself…. To have some attractive woman(for whatever the reason and not necessarily asian) really into you, lingering on every word you say and worshipping you, it may be hard from some men to resist that…"

 

It is very easy to resist when you realise they ARE only in it for your wallet contents, nothing more except perhaps visa/green card etc). I have seen the fat old foreigners with late teen to 20's chicks in bars, I find it not such a pleasant scene, but then it is up to both of them really…

 

For me, I tend to travel more outside these sort of areas, and find a completely different genre of woman… When I am in town, yeah, I might have a drink or more, but any bar girl in Asia as far as I am concerned is a risk both financially and health wise. Nothing more.

September 6, 2011
11:12 pm
Crystal
China / Israel
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princenasir said:

Haha…so when I finally do get to China, you have to let me know about these clubs with beautiful regular girls looking for foreign guys. I want to take lots of pictures with girls hanging all over me for Crystal to do a new blog entry on Chinese girls and black guys! Wink

Laugh

Sounds great!

I even have a proposal for the title – "Adventures of Black Chinabounder".

September 7, 2011
1:29 am
GentleGiant
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Haha…so when I finally do get to China, you have to let me know about these clubs with beautiful regular girls looking for foreign guys. I want to take lots of pictures with girls hanging all over me for Crystal to do a new blog entry on Chinese girls and black guys! Wink

Just go looking for a "KTV" sign, or follow the underdressed/overmadeup girls on the bus, and see where they are going.

September 7, 2011
6:56 am
princenasir
Nashville, TN
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GentleGiant said:

Haha…so when I finally do get to China, you have to let me know about these clubs with beautiful regular girls looking for foreign guys. I want to take lots of pictures with girls hanging all over me for Crystal to do a new blog entry on Chinese girls and black guys! Wink

Just go looking for a "KTV" sign, or follow the underdressed/overmadeup girls on the bus, and see where they are going.

I said regular girls…besides, I don't follow women, they follow me. Wink

October 27, 2012
9:27 am
Helen
Guest
15

White men view Chinese women through a stereotypical lens: exotic, submissive, hyper-sexual  So when they are in China, all they think about is getting a Chinese women in bed.

December 8, 2012
4:59 am
Aussie Andy
Guest
16

Interesting read.

I was recently in China and experienced the "feel like a rock star" feeling.

Yes it was great for the ego and I must admit I really enjoyed it.

As for the husband visiting China, I believe you can only blame the husband if he strays.

The women in China certainly are very beautiful and sexy but it is up to him to resist temptation and don't go to places where these women might be looking for a westerner.

There are hundreds of tempting women in just a few city blocks in China.

So if the marriage is a little shaky I would say there is no more dangerous place on earth to be,

I repeat though I do not hold the women responsible in any way.

It's not their fault they are SO DAMN HOT !!!!!

 

Cool

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