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Age Difference & Romance
September 17, 2016
3:55 pm
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A
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Hello,

Well, I'm in love with this girl. I'll keep this as brief as possible to stop my heart from spilling onto the page.

She has a boyfriend and is 4 years older than me (21, 25). She says that she and her boyfriend seldom go out, talk, or do things together. They've been together for 2 years but she says it's been a year since they have done anything together.

Is this typical of a Chinese relationship? I know that her Mother would like for her to be engaged with this man. Is it the 3rd-party pressure that makes her stay? I know you can't see inside my friend's head but I'd appreciate your best guess.

Also, the age difference. She says that since she is older than me we cannot be together. Because when we become old she will be older and uglier than me first, so I will seek a younger woman. Is this a typical view as well? I wish I could change her mind on this but, of course every man says that he would never leave his love for a younger version, whether he means it or not at the time.

She says she cares for me too but she won't leave her boyfriend because then she would be betraying him. I just don't understand because it sounds like there is basically nothing left between them. She even said that she can never trust him again because he lied to her about quitting smoking. I guess she cares more about his happiness than her own.

Are these typical cultural views that Chinese have? Do you think there's any way I can change her mind? I know I'm a huge -beep- for coming between her and her boyfriend. In my defense, I confessed to her my feelings when I thought she was going to breakup with her boyfriend.

Thanks,

A

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