This site's been pretty dead, and there isn't really any girls on here. But I thought I would give it a shot anyway.

Last night I had a conversation with a girl that I have known for a year. She and I can never be. From what I gather it's because of her family and her work. Or at least that's what I gather. Maybe she's saving my face. You can never know here. Anyhow she said somethings that really pissed me off, if I translated it correctly that is. In anycase I'm not sure if I totally understand what she was saying.

So here is what she texted me. I know it's out context but there really wasn't any. This wasn't in one big text. It's all her replies and what not. But you'll get the drift.

你要让自己成熟起来
你现在还像小孩子一样 不成熟
这个社会本来就是 如果你不努力你就会被淘汰
不能总是这样贪玩下去

在别人看来你还是不成熟太像小孩子
不是因为你年龄大你就成熟
在我看来是这样子的
当然你可以不用听我这些话
我是为你好

我只是我的感觉
梅梅也是这么感觉到的
你给人的感觉就是这样子的
或许是我们不了解你

你要努力工作变得成熟起来 不要总是喜欢开玩笑

有时候需要严肃店好点

I then pushed for a reason. I like things direct and most of the time that doesn't work in China. For instance, why do I act like a kid. Give me a specific example of a time that you thought that I should of acted more grown up. But she dodged it and gave me the I'm tired BS. Maybe she was saving my face. But I don't give a -beep-. I just want to know why she thought I was too much like a kid and needed to grow up. There wasn't really anything before this conversation that would make her say it. I didn't throw a fit for not getting ice-cream. Anyway here is the rest.

没有理由别问我理由了好吗
我很累
最近的每天都很累
我没有很多的脑子在想其他的事情了

我也有很大的压力
家庭压力工作压力 事情很多

So here is what I got out of it. To others I act like a kid and need to grow up. Her and another girl both think this. I don't know why. When I pushed her for an example or a reason she started to act tired and didn't want to answer.

Honestly perhaps I didn't understand anything that she was saying. But she knows me more than any other Chinese girl. And apparently other girls think like this too. I don't know why. I am funny, like to play jokes, etc. But childish, no. Well, maybe. But I don't know in what aspect she is talking about. I don't know how much more grown up I should be. Maybe I should act more like a Chinese guy and have a angry look on my face and just be super serious about everything. Maybe I wear too much color. Kid's wear color right? Maybe I need to wear all black and shop at Jack and Jones.

I suppose it could also be one of those things where they just tell you to grow up just because. Like a work hard type of thing when you already work. But you still say work hard because it's just something you say. So maybe saying you need to grow up and take the bull by the horns is just something Chinese people say to Chinese people.

So what do you all think. I know that I have to answer this myself. And "I" was the only one there and am the only one who knows. but do Chinese girls like boring, serious guys that only dress in black? Beats me. I just find it funny that she is the one that tells me to grow up when her past two boyfriends broke up with her because they thought she was too childish.

One childish person telling another childish person to grow up equals.. what?

I talked to another friend that knows her. Apparently she meant I act like a kid and like to have fun too much. She probably wants a serious acting guy who isn't fun and bosses her around. Anyway.

I'm chasing after whomever I want because that's my choice. Couple that with the fact that I haven't seen a white women in 6 or more months limits who I can "chase" after.