You guys are really great out here!! I REALLY appreciate ALL the support.

I already told her I love her..I needed to get it of my chest..no matter the outcome.

Been carrying the feeling around for awhile and had to get it out. She doesn't love me but she easily could have loved me.

I know she does have VERY strong emotions for me though.

So she knows EXACTLY how I feel about her. I had to break it off because it was too painful to see her and have her say we could not go any further. 

I didn't totally burn the bridge…just nursing a bit of a broken heart :-)

If I could see her and not have the pain I may do that.

Although she was pretty adamant about the fact that the HSV-1 was a deal-breaker.

She may have a change of heart..I put that at about a 10-20% probability.

Hey Jett Catt,

We are back together. Although I broke it off, after about a week she texted me that she "missed me".

Well we started talking and she said she wanted to explore the possibilities as to how we could make things work for us.

So I agreed to talk about it.

One thing I notice about her is that sometimes she rushes to judgment or speaks too quickly (This only happens when it comes to our relationship not in normal everyday activities).

 Strange because she usually is VERY careful and thinks before she speaks.

As an example telling me that the HSV-1 was a deal breaker, well it really wasn't.

She was just trying to get her head around it.

Things are going well now. We are working through everything and she has been fantastic, more understanding than I could have imagined. I guess that's what makes our connection so "high quality".

She hasn't had a test yet and I am not going to push her on that at this time.

Yes I believe her feelings are very strong and getting stronger, we have been doing A LOT of talking lately and seeing each other A LOT.

When we see ea. other we laugh A LOT and she is VERY animated and her eyes are bright and happy. She also smiles A LOT as well.

So even though she has not said she loves me, I believe she feels love for me and that's cool. :-)

The cool thing about our relationship is that if either one of us makes a mistake we talk about it and make the necessary adjustments.

We will spend Thanksgiving together :-) 

I'm kind of conflicted on Christmas, I am going up north and had to buy tickets. I did that when we were broken up and I didn't expect to see her again.

She has to work so cannot travel but will be off on Christmas weekend. I feel bad about leaving her behind and I would like to introduce her to my family at some point in time.

Don't really know what to do about that yet.

But all is well and we are growing closer together. Hopefully no more drama for us for awhile we need a break from it :-)

Thanks again for writing and your concern Jett Catt.

Mark.

Uh oh.

Is it customary for Chinese women to "pick" at their men?  

This weekend the "picking" began. From turn the water off you are wasting it to….don't point the ends of the chopsticks

at me that is considered rude ( I explained that I am left-handed and that I twist my hand that way…but to no avail..oh and she said she is just letting me know…she is not picking at me :-) ),

to I don't like that shirt can you change it for me ????  huh?? wtf??

She went from sweet to "picking" what does this mean??  Anyone????  We had a really bad day Saturday. Had a good thanksgiving and the day after was good but after that…not cool.

Also most times she is very warm and loving towards me but also goes cold without warning.

Well DAMN, she broke up with me again. She's broken up with me 3 times.  :(

And the reason makes no sense to me. Actually each time the reason made no sense.

From my post of October 24, 2011 I said I was diagnosed with HSV-1. We we agreed to give things a try to see if we could work around it. We have been having protected -beep- but she would not kiss me so she would not get this. Of course she hasn't had a test yet so she really doesn't know if she has it or not. When I pressed her on the test she said she didn't want to get one done because if it was positive she would not know how she would feel about me.  ???

So I thought we were working thru things and working around the kissing issue. We have been spending a lot of time together and it was very quality time. The -beep- was great for both of us, so I "thought" things were cool. Yea I missed the kissing. She hasn't said a word about it since we began trying. But she broke it off last night saying there was no passion ???

WTF?? I am EXTREMELY passionate about her and I show it, there's no way in -beep- she could not have seen the passion from me. Maybe she felt no passion because we couldn't kiss. I asked her and she said she wants to kiss me but in the back of her mind she always has to tell herself that she can't.  I asked if the passion issue was due to not being able to kiss. She said "I don't know maybe", I think she does.

She said the passion has been gone since August, but yet she has gotten back together with me each time she's broken up with me ??? She told her parents last week that she's seeing me again ???

We went away for the weekend last week, she initiated that weekend trip ??? And told me repeatedly that she was very excited about it. One night before dinner we had a drink together (1st time since we began dating) and she got a little tipsy and it was so much fun.

We spent Thanksgiving weekend together ??  And now this, again!!!

Why on earth would someone who feels no passion do all this ?? She is EXTREMELY intelligent but, emotionally,  her behavior makes no sense.

She said with me she's broken all her dating rules. Dating a guy who is separated. Dating a guy with an STD. Breaking up and going back and trying again (she said when she usually breaks up with someone that's it she never looks back, yet with me she's come back every time).

I'm beginning to think that what she feels with me she's never felt with anyone else before. Otherwise why break all her dating rules? Why make so many exceptions for me.  I think she may be extremely confused and does not know how to handle her feelings for me. Even though she told me that she didn't love me.  I am not so sure.

She asked me how other people maintain relationships with HSV-1. I said one partner takes suppression therapy, Valtrex etc.

Which reduces the risk substantially. She said yes but it's not zero. I said that's why it's called "Risk" because it's not zero percent.

And actually nothing in life is really risk-free.  But if her comfort level of risk is zero percent with this then I can't argue with that. The amount of risk she's willing to assume is her decision alone.

I'm totally confused at this point!!

We "click" in EVERY way and really do have a high quality connection. The last 8 months has been fantastic, even with the breakups and emotional roller coaster. When we talk we literally lose track of time. I make her laugh so much she can't stop.

She grabs me spontaneously and dances with me. I was shocked at this but I assume it is her expressing happiness. 

I guess I have to let her go. If she changes her mind on the level of risk great, if not then it's move forward for me.

She said that we can be friends and said "you can never have too many friends" but as you all know that's death when spoken to a guy! I'm emotionally involved and cannot go "backwards" to "friends".

Anyone ???  

Jesus Christ!!  I'm at my wit's end here!!!!!

Here's another thought that just came to me.

I think this girl is confused. I don't think she's ever met anyone like me.  I think I came along and knocked her off balance. I don't think she even expected to meet anyone like me, especially online like we met.

I am a very attentive and affectionate guy that's just the way I am. I literally treat her like a princess (which may be a problem, don't want to spoil her).

I think the number of relationships she's had you can count on 1 hand. I could be wrong but my gut is telling me this as well as my observations of her emotional behavior.

Would anyone like to comment on that?