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Taiwanese parents opposing marriage with a Korean
December 10, 2011
4:59 am
Fili
Hong Kong
Admin
Forum Posts: 48
Member Since:
January 13, 2011
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This has been sent to LLC through the contact form:

I'm a Korean girl in a relationship with a Taiwanese man.  We're in love and we've been together for almost 3 years.  We would like to eventually get married but his parents do not want us to be together because I'm NOT taiwanese! I wish they would give me a chance to get to know me before they judge me by my race!  It's been so difficult to see each other on holiday's because of his parents.  We're not young…we're in our early 30's and we don't live at home.  Why won't they just let go and stop controlling the situation?  Help me figure out how to win them over…or figure out how to handle this situation.

 

Help! 

Any advice for the gal?

 

Fili

December 12, 2011
6:06 pm
Utah not Mormon
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Forum Posts: 131
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January 3, 2011
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Her boyfriend needs to be a man and respectfully (with love) tell his parents what he is going to do. It is in the parents best interests to be nice about this, once they know he is not giving in.

December 18, 2011
9:13 am
yk
Earth
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Forum Posts: 19
Member Since:
October 1, 2011
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Korean and Taiwanese?! Geez, it's not about "race"..

Maybe the parents are afraid… that they wouldn't be able to communicate well with her, and/or they wouldn't be able to influence/control his son's (adult) life.. exactly same as some Korean parents :p

 

I think "winning them over" might take quite some time. Not rushing might work better. Afterall, the couple themselves are the decision makers; the parents can express their dissatisfaction as much as they want, but they won't be the do-ers, right? I agree with Utah not Mormon; the boyfriend's role must be crucial as the bridge between his parents and his partner. It's him who really knows his parents too… and, well, I also tend to think that this crisis (for the lack of a better word) could be an opportunity for her to get to know her partner in a deeper level. Like, see how he's doing between his parents and her. Also…. I'd like to suggest her to try to understand his parents. There must be reasons other than "race" or a different nationality. Probably they are the baby boomer generation, with their specific expectations and beliefs, and their son's relationship with her must've been a sort of shock to them. Be compassionate and give them some time.. :)

 

Hope she can relax a bit and cherish her relationship without much distress!

December 18, 2012
2:14 pm
Jerry
Guest

I don't see a problem with race?!, its most likely communication problems and also his parents are afraid of losing his son if later she wanted to move back to Korea.

 

 

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