Chinese New Yearand what does it mean to foreigners living abroad in China. As of January 14, 2012 I've been living and working in China as an English teacher. Finally I think I've found the one. I met a different Amy in Hong Kong and am pretty sure  she's the one for me yet have been burned and am gun shy still the same. The last week I've been with her in Hong Kong with her two children, one 10 yr old boy and a 12 yr old girl. She's been widowed now for the last 5 yrs. Both of us are very passionate so we decided to do the whole Chinese New Year thing together. At this point I'm not sure of anything but -beep- or high water I'm moving back to America {with or without a wifey to boot}. This is the first Chinese New Year I've really understood what it is to live through and experience the traditional holidays. Did the fireworks at Habour Bay, ate all the traditional foods, spent 24 hrs a day trying to relate to her dsyfunctional 12 yr old daughter spoiled rotten immature daughter. I thought showing her what a great guy I am would make everything right in Mike's world. Amy still goes on about how she hopes it will last forever yet I'm starting to see the writing on the wall. I love her yet she despises men in general because her exhusband was a no account go for nothing Chinese man, his father another no account gambling fool who only shows up because she forcibly invites him over, seemed like a decent guy yey was only cause he wanted to save face, later she disclosed he disliked children in general.  Anymore I'm not sure what to believe in, she really cares yet is gun shy of committing and trusting men in general. We fight like cats and dogs yet make love like two awestruck teenagers. She isn't sure that once in America that I won't leave her. To make matters worse old {actually younger older {age Amy is suddenly willing to introduce me to the dissapproving parents} now. My present Amy is not willing at this point to agree to move back to America to live with me. What's a guy to do????? I'm 49 and don't have the patience or will to live in Hong Kong the rest of my life. Mainland China has burned me out, cannot deal with this barbaric culture anymore, pretty sure I'll move to HONG Kong in the next 4 – 5 months. At a crossroads and I thought spending Chinese New Year would elucidate matters only to realize that they complicated things more. There are so many levels of bs to Chinese culture, what's a guy to do?? Cut and run because it's too much of a hassle to endure or deal with nonsense to live a supposed happy life. Amy's daughter is doing everything in her minute power to sabotage our relationship. Two words I expressed to her boarding school and I'm prepared to back that claim with Hong Kong dollars. To give you an idea of what I'm against her daughter plays fight club with her pet hamsters or gerbils on a daily basis. 3 of them alive after 5 months of originally 6. Yes, serial killers start out as people who torture and kill small animals, eeeyaaahhh! Talk about a rock and a hard place. I remember reading about a similiar case on Chnlove and remarking how twisted it was that a 12 yr old girl almost killed her mother's boyfriend through poisoning her mother's boyfriend through pesticide dosing. -beep- if I'm too die at the jhands of some stupid immature child. Scary story yet am reevaluating my future with her. Damn, if this isn'ty the craziest story on this board. What do you guys think of Chinese New Year? Sorry, I went off on a rant yet needed to vent. Living in Chinese culture changes one's perspective on actual Chinese thinking. In America I had such dellussions of gradeour. Thought, felt and wanted to believe I could find the perfect wife in China. Truth be told, Chinese are just as whacked as thier America counterparts are. Told Amy if we split I'm sure it will be the result of her evil offspring and no fault of my own. Damned if I take nonsense from a 12 yr old who acts like a 6 yr old. Been around and dated from 26 – 47 and am tired of the nonsense, I'd rather be alone and die by myself than tolerate -beep- from an evil offspring, am I right or what? Any thoughts on Chinese New Year or my predictcament would be greatly appreciated. Thanks to one and all the Shark is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guest said

"his father another no account gambling fool who only shows up because she forcibly invites him over, seemed like a decent guy yey was only cause he wanted to save face, "

 

You're contradicting yourself here. He was a decent guy, but of course because he's Chinese it's only about "saving face". Seriously, it's like whites drag out that boring thing all the time.

I don't think he's contradicting himself. Rather, he's talking about her father's contradicting characters. And it seems to me that Shark is with a woman with a lot of emotional baggage. I feel especially sorry for the 12 yo girl for her disturbing behaviours. Granted that teenagers often act out and she must be under a lot of distress (assumed from Shark's information about her parents), the hamster incident is still way too much…

From what Shark wrote, I got an impression that he didn't want to stay in the relationship knowing what he wouldn't be able to avoid if he did – i.e. "barbaric culture" and "evil offspiring". His story does sound like a real predicament, but perhaps it's time to say bye to her for the sake of everyone. All the best. New year, new start :)