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5:00 am
August 29, 2011
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QuoteI was wondering if any other chinese women have had the same problem as my wife back in china ???
my wife is 46 years old and when her chinese friends found out she found a white man to date they were upset with her and they started gossiping about her so now she has no friends !!!
she plays mahjong with a group but they only consentrate on the game she says and do not talk about personal things !!! so not close friends she tells me !!
her real friends though are no longer around so she is a bit lonely !! i told her not to worry my friends will become hers once she is here in canada !!!
i also told her that i think her friends are just jealous of her finding a white boyfriend/husband !!!
they all wanted her in the begining to find a man but after she did that they were not happy with her choice !!!
i told her that i am sure a lot of her friends dream to find a man from the west !!!
8:28 am
June 14, 2011
OfflineI guess it shows how good of friends they really were. I've heard stories about this happening too. Most are after a foreign guy breaks up with a girl. if any Chinese guy found out that she dated a western guy before he wouldn't want to date her.
But yeah, it sucks. Jealous, maybe. I used to think American schools girls could gossip. But they ain't got nothing on Chinese ayis. That's for sure. I guess she'll just have to hang in there.
9:10 am
November 17, 2010
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I think you should sing that song by The Offspring.
Pretty Fly for a White Guy.
6:05 pm
November 16, 2010
OfflinePaul K, could you please stop using three exclamation points after every sentence you type? It's really irritating!!! 
1:07 am
August 29, 2011
Offlinesorry i did not think it matter next thing you will want me to do is stop using question marks and start using capital letters and other proper punctuation !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well at least there are more than three !!!!!!!!!!! oops did i do that again ?????? hehehe
i just worry more about the content of a post not the bs !!!!!!!!! hehehe
1:20 am
August 29, 2011
OfflinePudding said:
I guess it shows how good of friends they really were. I've heard stories about this happening too. Most are after a foreign guy breaks up with a girl. if any Chinese guy found out that she dated a western guy before he wouldn't want to date her.
But yeah, it sucks. Jealous, maybe. I used to think American schools girls could gossip. But they ain't got nothing on Chinese ayis. That's for sure. I guess she'll just have to hang in there.
yes i agree with you talk about chickens in a hen house wow !!!!
that is one thing i noticed in china was the gossiping !!!
i feel bad for my wife it is sort of lonely for her because i am in my country until she can get her visa and her daughter is away at university in another city 7 hours away by regular slow train !!!
so she really misses us both very much !!! her parents and sister are near by but are busy with their own lives !!!
thank you though for the empathy pudding !!!!
3:46 am
October 2, 2011
OfflineWe found the opposite. When word got around we seemed to get more invites to dinner (perhaps out of curiosity), much practicing of English and I seemed to be welcomed warmly. I now have the problem of being asked to "recommend" laowai friends to single ladies in our group of friends.
10:29 pm
November 18, 2010
OfflineOdd. My wife didn't complain about losing any friends. It seemed she got more. Just depends on the circle of friends a person has and from where.
dennis
11:19 am
April 16, 2011
OfflineSome of the men are probably jealous and look down on it, the women maybe more of enviousness.
Paul, would you tell from where in China your lady is, is she a country or a city girl?
10:53 pm
September 19, 2011
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Sorry for you.
I guess your wife's friends are probably thinking of the following:
1) "A white guy is invading our culture!"
2) "What am I going to talk to that guy…?"
3) "Why don't I have a white husband as well..!"
Chinese women like gossiping, it's their nature. Knowing that their friend having a white husband gives them extra excuses to gossip so as to get rid of the boredom from working in the office.
Also, a lot of Chinese women still consider dating white guys or having a white husband as "prestigious" as the West was historically more affluent than the East. So, your wife's friends might just be jealous.
Third thing I want to point out is that, Chinese people have this concept of forming a "circle". If you have certain traits and features (blood connection, work, neighborhood etc.) in common, you're in the same circle. Since your wife might be the only one in that circle having a white husband, excluding your wife from that circle then seems to be a natural thing for her friends to do… sigh.
12:19 am
Hello.
That is very normal in China, because the woman are so Jaloux. They wish it was themself who could get a foreigner. I am married to a chinese woman and I live here in China with her. But all her "freinds" warned her all the time that I would cheat her, but the funny thing is that many of them now are searchin for a foreign husband after they have seen how I treat my wife – with respect an appriciation. The Chinese woman have never exsperienced this, because they marry mostly for convenience and not for love
. But I am still amased about the way these womans they are so jaloux .
11:11 am
September 6, 2012
OfflineWhy her friends were jealous of her choice? It is nonsense! The main problem is how to make your wife feel better.Girls' friends always are not real friends who are enemies at the same time. So if she think married with a west guy is a success, yeah, she made it! So being lonely is not from fake friendship, that is from her inside. Maybe the life she living is not her wish.
3:57 pm
November 11, 2011
OfflineDon't worry, they all were not a good friend. A good friend never left on this small fact. Thus your wife should also leave all that friends.
2:35 pm
October 16, 2012
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Well it did happen with my wife with two of her friends, but not all… two of her friends suddenly stopped talking to her. When she asked her other friends what was going on she got to know that they were feeling jealous that she was dating me. That made me happy – no one ever felt like that back home. It seems to be a dream of many Chinese women to date with a western man, sometimes one who is a little older than her, and more settled than a young guy, and that makes sense too. I would only say that friends who dump you out of jealousy are clearly not real friends, or they would be happy for you, so let them go and start your life with one who will be with you till the end.
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