What Does Sex Mean to Chinese Women?

Chinese women and sex

Chinese women and sex

An understanding of Chinese history is obviously important for a good understating of Chinese women. Just a reminder that here am not lecturing you on Chinese history but rather telling you something to help you get the most out of the following blog post, which will lead you most effectively to a Chinese heart.

What I like about Chinese tradition is that ”men are superior and women are inferior; boys are precious and girls are cheap. Even today, this tradition still applies in rural areas of china.

The serial dating concept that is prevalent in the Western culture is virtually unheard of in China.

Although this is slowly changing especially among the youth particularly those in colleges in international cities, most Chinese girls will not spend time alone with a man unless they have strong feelings or are certain about their desire about them as their future spouse.

In this context casual sex is rare except for westernized girls and mostly those brought up in Beijing, Shanghai and in some cases Guangzhou.

Getting into marriage a virgin is still a big deal in China and a man should take caution when approaching a Chinese woman.

In most cases, an offer of sex is usually a sign of good faith in contemplation of an impending marriage.

It is a deal breaker and if you are not ready for such a step then you might want to step back.

Physical displays of affections also have a meaning behind them as they are relatively uncommon in the Orient as compared to the Western world.

Even words or phrases of endearment have a deeper meaning to them and are not tossed around so casually.

If a Chinese girl does this, it means that they already view you as a future husband and have probably talked about you to her mother.

This could result in an invitation to meet the family which is frightening enough in the western culture as it spells commitment; in the Chinese culture it is equivalent to announcing your engagement.

When it comes to sex, Chinese women are traditionally shy and passive. It shows respect to their husbands and is a rather endearing trait for the romantic or soft hearted but not so much for the brazen and more experienced.

It may take some coercing to get a Chinese woman to tell you what she likes in bed and you need to tread softly or she will close up like a clam. Sex to Chinese women especially those who follow traditions means that she is serious about committing to you in marriage and should not be taken lightly.


Let me leave you with a quote from Chinese professor MR. Gu who was once asked by westerners:

”Why can a man have many women while a woman can’t have many men?”

Professor Gu replied by saying:

”Having concubines is out of a husband’s love and care to his wife. Man is as if a teapot and woman is as if a tea cup: A teapot with 4 tea cups can make a set, but a tea cup with 4 teapots cannot”.

If you’ve any feedback, kindly leave your thoughts below on the comments box for discussion.

About the Author:

Bill is the author and creator of www.promagicofmakingup.co.uk. His blog focuses on dating advice and relationships tips that will help you manage your love positively. If you want to get more in-depth dating tips, i’d advice that you visit his blog. Check out his popular article about: The Metalica Guide on How to Get Your EX Back (Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless!). Join his Google Plus Social Platform and you’ll enjoy his Epic Advice post.

20 comments to What Does Sex Mean to Chinese Women?

  • A Nonny-Mouse

    about the men and women issue – this is the best solution I ever heard – a key that opens many locks is called a Master Key. A lock that is opened by many keys is just a bad lock

  • Steve

    With due respect, I think Prof. Gu comment is chauvinistic view of men v.s. women. If I were a woman, I wouldn’t want my husband to show his love to me with having concubines.

  • Steve Schultz

    Really?? I have a Huge problem with Concubine Activity. If I love my Chinese wife I should expect and understand when she is not wanting sex. That goes for ANY Female! Passion and Compassion should not be one sided. only self absorbed would justify a concubine. If she doesn’t want sex at the time, perhaps there is something troubling her or she is having problems with relaxation. sex usually needs some type of emotional reinforcements. Offer a massage, have her talk and YOU LISTEN to her. I will wager that she will, at least understand, that you are interested in her needs and care.
    Honesty! Compassion! and Selfless Interest!

  • Marsh

    Upon reading “shy and passive” I looked for the date of the article as my first thought was that it must be very old. I’m a happily married with an aged wife and a lust for traveling and not much else until falling victim to the shy and passive girls I have encountered all over China.
    Only ever I while in Florida, 30+ years ago have I ever encountered so many hot girlls. Admittedly most just pass by but the many who return an admiring glance seldom turn out to be either shy or passive!
    It has taken me three months here but one thing is for certain, many Chinese women have broken free from their history and inhibitions with results I haven’t experienced anywhere in Europe.
    When I ask will it ever be accepted that despite history and social conventions will it ever be accepted that Chinese girls have the same needs and desires as all others.
    I have never known such openness, they know what they want and are delightfully open in telling you, so sorry to feel it necessary to derogate this article.

  • Juci Shockwave

    This article really over looks at the traditional practice of women being leaders in the mountainous regions of China. Ever hear of Mosuo? No? Then I suggest you look them up.

  • MPRuffy,

    Is proffesor Gu still Married or has his wife sconed him with a tea cup ? ,,,,lol

  • Ian

    Professor Gu …..hasn’t a clue!

  • Shan Long

    I think Bill and Mr. Mah-Gu are Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Du! While some of what is written is true, most is a big festering pile of hooey. As an experienced Westerner in this subject, I nearly fell over laughing… and I would hardly blame the feminist groups for his lonely, chauvinistic, outdated viewpoints.

  • paul

    yes. you can meet a Chinese woman for life.

  • sam

    Don’t sleep with them, unless you are ready for marriage. I was really worried about that because i didn’t what to hurt her… Why??? because i have a ”14.3/4 size dick.We did it and now we been married for 21 years and we have 3 kids. I love her so much….

  • Dale

    Hopefully I’ve not unknowingly committed marriage after a first date. I’m nearing 60 and met an endearing lady from China who’s been in the US for four years. She’s 52 and followed her daughter here as and exchange student, ended up marrying a local guy and now after three years are legally separated.

    Her EX-2B is a recluse, doesn’t like to go out, be social and pretty much kept her confined as his housewife until a few months ago when they filed for separation. She on the other hand is more of a take-charge type of woman and not afraid to be herself. Yet she has no friends or family so now very lonely living on her own with her daughter off to college in another state. Of course, I learn all of of this during the first date and as I later walked her to her car, she gave me a huge hug and wouldn’t let go. Before I knew it, we began kissing as if we were teens.

    Now we’ll meet again today as I’ve promised to take her to some local places she’s wanted to see. And I always keep my promises. Although I’ve no desire to serial date, nor prey on someone so genuine yet vulnerable, I’m finding this a crash course in Chinese love culture.

  • Bruce

    It is obvious to me that many of the men that have replied on this site have never been actually married to a Chinese woman. I have been married to a Chinese woman for 5 years now and I can truthfully say that sex means absolutely nothing to them because they do not know how to show affection whatsoever. I am an American man and I like to kiss my wife, hold her hand, hug her, and put my arm around her when we are in bed together, but she only looks at one thing, as most Chinese women look for in a western man….money. As long as you give them a comfortable life as they call it, then you might be able to get a little affection from them, but they are very materialistic. When I say comfortable life I mean money to burn, You will need to give them a house, not an apartment, nice furniture, preferably new furniture, a nice car for them to drive, money to go shopping whenever they feel the need to do so, which is most of the time, and of course you need to travel or vacation to exotic places at least two times a year and pay for them to go home to China every year to see their family, sometimes without you with them. Because in China the husband works his ass off then pays for everything, while the wife enjoys her comfortable life and if she has no children, then her life is really comfortable. As for sex, yes, you may get sex the first year you are together, and maybe before your married because they know if they have sex with you before your married, they hooked you like women do to all men around the world. You see men think with the little head instead of the big head most of the time. Chinese women, especially the older women do not know what affection means, let alone how to show it. This has been my opinion only from my perspective married to a 50 year old woman and also the same age as she is. Do not get me wrong, I think my wife is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. She is the love of my life. I just wish I would have known that Chinese women could not show affection without money being involved in some way. I would still marry her again despite the lack of affection. She is beautiful, smart, and I would not another woman in my life…only her. Thanks for reading.

  • Michael Titre

    I looked at some of the comments written on this site about Chinese Women. I would say that there is some truth in all their opinions with the exception of Professor Gu who I think has got a couple of screws missing. I try and look at things from different angles. I spoke to dozens of Super Rich to Chinese ladies with basic jobs who are looking for Western Husbands. I found out that they got different requirements. There is no typical Chinese Lady. Some seem to be shy while other are really wild.

    I found out that a high percentage of them whether rich or poor seem to place sex high on their list, talking about pleasuring their husbands most nights. I spoke to women from many Countries round the World and all of them with the exception of Columbian and Serbian Women placed such a high focus on sex.

    I think this high focus on sex by a lot of them is due is due to the major restrictions placed by Chairman Mao on sexual freedom and his one child policy. The parents of these young ladies experienced Chairman Mao’s restrictions and could not express themselues

    The current generation of Women where not restricted by Mao’s Policies. Many want to embrace the West almost fully. The Clothing, Music and Sex, especially the rich ones.

    About how Professor Gu looks at things?……… I think the guy does not know what he is talking about and has a narrow way of looking at things.

  • Simon

    I’ve dated a number of Chinese ladies and with the exception of one lady, money and materialism seem to be the focus of their lives. One has completely caught me off guard. She is a professor, highly educated, and very at ease showing her affection. To her credit she does not like me wasting money on her. I love spending time and money on her and her lack of materialism causes me to want to offer her a sound quality life with all the material accoutrements I can offer her because she is unlike any Chinese lady I’ve ever met. I’m so blessed that our paths have crossed and I love her to bits.

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