We get alot of questions about Asian girls on our Formspring page. Our resident Asian girls & relationship expert HoneyKitten tries to answer some of your recent questions.
Q: In the context of traditional standards of Asian body image, are weight gain, obesity & being overweight considered to be greater or lesser taboos or sources of anxiety amongst Asian girls, & in Asian society more broadly as compared to the west? :3
A: Females in Asia are consistently pressured via media, parents,men etc to stay slim. Celebrities usually weigh less than 100 pounds and diet products, slimming aids and plastic surgery are becoming more common. The social stigmitisation of girls who are ‘fat’ is brutal. Even girls who may not be considered heavy by western standards may be labelled as chubby in Asia. Also, in asian culture it is not considered rude to discuss someone’s weight or weight gain to their face. Comments like ‘you’ve gotten a bit fat’ are not considered impolite, but merely a statement of fact. Women will tend to starve or diet their way to thinness in order to fit in. It is not considered good to stand out in Asian culture in a negative way. Exercise culture is not as developed in the West, but most asians stay lean by following a traditional diet and avoid western or junk food.
Q: What are the biggest faux pas or mistakes a western guy might make & should therefore be conscious of & try & avoid around Asian women, as far as Asian cultural etiquette is concerned ?
A: Here’s my list:
- § Don’t ask an Asian woman to bed straight away. Most Asian girls are sexually conservative.
- § Don’t misunderstand if an Asian woman brings a friend on your first few dates. This may show that she needs to warm to you first .
- § Don’t compliment her excessively or you may come across as a ‘player’.
- § Don’t visit her parents home unless you are taking the relationship further. Asian girls do not want to lose face if you leave her.
- § Don’t dress too casually. Status is important so its better to dress formally.
- § Don’t be temperamental, don’t lose your cool in difficult situations and don’t swear.
- § Bring her little gifts even if they are inexpensive.
- § Don’t be pretentious and don’t brag about your achievements. It is better to be humble and besides, most asian girls have heard it all before!
- § Don’t smoke or drink excessively and don’t gamble. A lot of asian men do these things in excess and they may turn her off you.
- § Respect her culture and religion. Don’t criticise it and try and participate in as many things as you can eg making merit at the temple.
- § Make sure you inquire about her family and their health often. And if you become serious, visit her family regularly. Remember you are dating her whole family, not just her.
An Asian girl may try and test you in subtle ways. For example, she may put you in a situation where you feel obligated to pay a large sum of money. In her mind, she is giving you an opportunity to ‘gain face’ in front of her or her family. In your mind, you may feel taken advantage of. Just realize that there are many complex layers to Asian culture and relationships. You will have to adjust your way of thinking over time.
Got something to say? Leave a comment below. Got more questions for us? Keep’em coming!