We get alot of questions about Chinese girls on our Formspring page. A new HK based Chinese girls & relationship expert SC tries to answer some of your recent questions.
Q: After a short relationship years ago my girl suddenly chose that we should only be friends . We stayed in touch and she recently called me. We hung out everyday for about a week then she told me she is seeing someone.I thought we were getting back together. I love her a lot. What happened?
A: That could be confusing in any situation, especially in a cross-cultural context. My take on this is that if girl is seeing someone then she would probably not hang out with you every day for a week. Perhaps she was trying to see how serious you are about her and test your reaction. Perhaps she is torn between wanting to keep you as a friend and your expectations that you two should be romantically involved. Generally, Chinese girls would appreciate a guy who expresses his feelings clearly by saying something like “I love you” “I want to be with you” aloud even if they’re currently in a relationship so that they have less risk when they chose to break off that relationship. So, my suggestion is to better express your feelings towards her but with the realization that this may involve rejection, atleast in the short term.
Q: Hi there, Im a New Zealand born Chinese who goes back to China yearly. I can speak and understand mandarin but i cant read or write mandarin. I often get told im “shuai” and i have this thing for cute asian girls. How can i get with some of them? Thanks
A: In general, it is two sides of the same coin for you to “get” those Chinese girl.
First, you’re probably attractive to them because of your Western education. You are perceived as more gentleman than most typical Chinese (don’t abuse that!), and you live in the New Zealand so you potentially able to offer girls a different life out of their home place in China.
On the other hand, you don’t have the same culture background as they do, which makes it difficult to communicate and find common grounds . I don’t believe it is important how well you read or write Chinese because you can always communicate with her in speaking/ listening, and that’s far more important.
I believe just like most girls, the only thing you can do is to find one that you like, and express your feeling to her.
Q: Do Chinese girls find Caucasian guys more sexually interesting than Asian guys and are they concerned that making love may be uncomfortable due to Caucasian guys usually having larger “manhood”
A: I believe they find Caucasian more sexually interesting not because of larger manhood but because of their more attractive outlook (e.g. taller, look more handsome, more open). I don’t believe the Chinese girls care about manhood’s size as much.
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