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Ten Stories About Materialistic Chinese Girls

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Chinese Girl and MoneyWhat kind of impression do people have about Chinese girls? Some time ago I wrote a post summarizing the most widespread adjectives used by foreigners to describe us. It’s not surprise that in the poll (included in that post) most readers regarded Chinese girls as beautiful. People who think otherwise possibly wouldn’t visit my blog.

However, “beauty” didn’t make the voters blind to some unpleasant characteristics and the second, third and fourth places went to “insecure”, “gold-digger” and “immature” females. I assume that this impression partly comes from personal experience. But in many cases it is formed through sharing anecdotes with friends and reading weird stories on internet.

Imagine a man who never had a chance to communicate with any Chinese girl. What impression would he have if his only source of information was internet? I bet that in my poll he would choose the option “gold diggers”.

To prove this point I prepared a digest consisting of 10 articles, which can lead the reader to one conclusion – Chinese girls are extremely materialistic!

1. http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,2000558,00.html
If you are looking for a story which epitomizes the materialistic mindset – it should be the infamous event that happened on China’s popular dating show “If you are the one”. When one of the girls on that show had to “decide the fate” of a male participant, she declined his offer to have a ride on bicycle with the following phrase: “I’d rather cry in a BMW car than laugh on the backseat of a bicycle”. Maybe this is the reason why BMW is an acronym for “Be My Wife”?

2. http://www.indiatimes.com/Shocking-but-true-stories/photostory/6637212.cms
Yup, BMW is THE car! How else would you explain why a 24-year-old woman would offer herself to anyone who would lend her BMW for a week? It appears that she was going for a school reunion and wanted to impress her friends.

3. http://www.chinahush.com/2010/04/01/the-audi-and-college-girls-experiment/
Are there other cars that would help you to hit on Chinese girls? The answer is positive. “Experiments” showed that owners of Audi can easily pick-up Chinese female students by simply parking the car near the university. All they need to do is wait until some MM (“mei mei”) comes along and asks for a ride.

4. http://notyouraveragefortunecookie.blogspot.com/2010/09/how-to-win-chinese-girl.html
If you want to increase your chances – then the ownership of car should be completed with three additional items: nice watch (actually, fake Rolex will do), nice shirt and nice shoes. One, two, three: quick glance into mirror – you are ready for the action!

5. http://www.chinasmack.com/2011/videos/no-car-no-house-song-chinese-leftover-women-version.html
If you think that material things are overvalued, let’s see what girls themselves  think about it. In order to erase any doubts regarding the requirements that a guy has to deal with, a group of Chinese girls compiled a song which immediately became a hit (not due to the vocal talents of performers :smile: ).
What do you think about the lyrics? “Asking you if you have a car, asking you if you have a house. My mother will also ask you how much savings you have.

6. http://cnreviews.com/life/living-in-china/getting-married-china_20100903.html
Not sure whether you can afford such expenses? You are not alone… But put the doubts aside. Someone already made the calculations for you. Thus, if you want to get married in Shanghai – make sure that you have spared 2 million RMB.

7. http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/world/college-girls-woo-sugar-daddies/story-e6frg6so-1225975601433
Of course, not every marriage should be so expensive. There are many modest Chinese girls. Especially on the dating sites. Take for example, that girl who wrote in her profile “No matter who the man is, so long as he is willing to give me 200,000 yuan I will marry him immediately”.

8. http://www.weirdasianews.com/2006/11/10/school-to-teach-girls-how-to-marry-the-rich/
I guess that she didn’t attend the elite Chinese courses supposed to prepare girls for marriage with a rich guy. Think I am kidding? Few years ago, “Weird Asia News” wrote about a unique school in Shenzhen that for a fee of 20,000 – 50,000 RMB was ready to teach girls everything needed to get a rich husband.

9. http://news.xinhuanet.com/english2010/culture/2011-03/30/c_13804797.htm
I don’t know if the business model of that school was successful, but just few days ago “China Daily” reported about another educational program that is also run in Guangdong province with a totally different curriculum. It teaches young girls how to resist the sweet talk of “sugar daddies”. Someone can tell me, what’s wrong with Guangdong?

10. http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/homepage/Group/BussLAB/pdffiles/Chinese%20Mate%20Preferences%20-%20PDF.pdf
In the last entry I want to refer to a serious research which analyzed how the mate preferences of young urban Chinese changed from 1983 to 2008. One of its findings was the dramatic increase in the importance of good earning capacity of the potential partner, as expected by Chinese females.
Authors of the research relate these changes to economic reforms which produced a huge variability in wealth distribution ranging from the unemployed to billionaires.

It was the father of Chinese economic reforms – Deng Xiaoping – who said “Being rich is glorious” (致富光荣).
I would want know who is the author of another Chinese saying – “Laugh at the poor, not the prostitutes” (笑贫不笑娼)

Economist of love, Crystal Tao

  • BlackSugarDaddy

    Hi Crystal,you’ve done hell a good job in generalizing how mercernary chinese girls are with these 10 tabloid stories, since you have gone this far, maybe I think you can go even further and work out a list of reasons why they are becoming so , such as dramatic changes that china and the lives/values of chinese people are going through every day, most chinese don’t have a belief and the education they received doesn’t build them the kind of world value they can hold up with in adversities, china is having soaring inflation so that girls are barely able to make ends meet on their own or simply put these girls are just trolling for attentions and fame. I know of a few couples who didn’t end up in marriage just because the guys can hardly afford an apartment by loan which they have to pay back for about 2-3 decades despite they’ve been together for a few years, also i know of girls why volunteer to teach in reclusive countryside in china and settle down. It’s unfair to characterize a group of people of too large a populations, but it’s absolutely good to see the diversity of values in a society like china that used to be an advocate of spartanism. And you see the girls in the stories didn’t receive high opinions in china’s message boards, did they ? :D

  • http://wanderingamericantravelblog.blogspot.com/ WanderingAmerican

    Wow. Those were entertaining reads. And the picture with this post is fantastic. I agree with BlackSugarDaddy that there should be a post about why Chinese girls are becoming so materialistic. I’d like to hear what Ms. Tao thinks about it.

    • http://www.lovelovechina.com Crystal

      You can call me Crystal :razz:
      Making a note for myself… will do it :!:

      • http://wanderingamericantravelblog.blogspot.com/ WanderingAmerican

        ok. I just felt like being extra cordial. :cool:

      • Teacher in China

        I’m actually going to call you “the Economist of Love” from now on. ;-)

  • Moroes

    China’s gold digging is weak and not considered expensive at all yet. Ask the Hong Kong guys who have been going to China to find a wife. They say “Waaaah so cheap la! Good deal!”

    Don’t worry. You might call it gold digging. I call it extreme competitive comparing behaviour. Look at the Chinese at developed cities. Hong Kong/Singaporean girls are comparing their locomotives, helpers, properties and even their kid’s schools and grades. Yeah they showcase their kids. Brag about how they got in Cambridge, got a super duper GPA and how he can play piano! A real extreme case of showing off what the family has got. You think the demands of the wife is bad. Wait for the demands of the DAUGHTER!

    The hell these women give its no wonder old Chinese men say “Getting married is like digging your own grave!”

    • MerryBathCelestial

      Wow! Nice comment! You know, Chinese gold digging girls end up losing their Chinese girl pals who can’t keep with their lifestylewith the foreign boyfriend and new Chinese girls’ gold digging club. Those Chinese girls end up befriending me. I tell them to study and save money. They get to know me and later, they get that gold digging fever and have a foreign boyfriend and start competing with their former Chinese girl pals. I don’t feel used. I just kickback and watch them go broke. Only a few snap out of it. Born again gold diggers are funny ’cause they know they openned up to me, but trust me.

  • SB

    In Japan, women used to try to find a man who had the “three highs” (三高): high salary, high education, and high height. According to my girlfriend, women in China want to find a man with the “three 180’s”: 180 cm, 180 m^2, and 180 mm.

    • http://www.magnoliaarts.com TLB

      And if you could choose only one, which one would you want? :razz:

    • Restaurant Unemployee

      i love this rule

      because i am 188cm
      my family’s home is 300m2

      and the other one i won’t mention because i’m modest

      but i’m just a regular white canadian with no money!
      so i guess i am ‘dreamy’

      hahaha your society is going to implode one day!

      • Kevin

        Ah, but where is the house? 300 sqm in Canada is like 50 sqm in Shanghai.

      • Bill

        180cm = 5ft 11 inches (tallness)
        180M^2 = 1937 sq ft (size of apt/home)

        Those I’m clear on.

        But 180mm. Hmmm.
        180mm = 7.1 inches.
        180mm = 1,800,000 yuan.

        So, which is it? Do Chinese girls go the Japanese route ($$), or …

  • http://chinesedatingsecrets.com/chinesegirls SamReeves

    I think BlackSugarDaddy has some good points about the economic development situation. Inflation and the cost of living is just going too fast in China for people to accept. Couple that with all the shiny new iphones and and designer clothes and you get a serious ‘face’ deficit if you’re not from a rich family.

    Chinese culture expresses so many things with money, getting married…here’s some money, Spring festival…here’s some money….oh you’re dead…here’s some money (obviously the family gets it). It’s no wonder so many girls go for the main point.

    I remember years ago I asked about two hundred Chinese girls this question (not at the same time of course): “What is your main criteria for marrying a man?” Almost all of them said “he must be rich”, a few said “he must be handsome”, only one mentioned the word ‘love’ and that was only to say “he must love me more than I love him”!

    To be honest though, I think it’s actually improved in recent years and not gotten worse, in my experience anyway. I’ve met a fair few girls who’ve said, in relation to a mans salary, “just enough to live on is ok”, and they were by no means unattractive. The problem isn’t so much the girls opinion, it’s the mothers. Getting around that is the main point, as no matter if a girl loves you, if the mother doesn’t that’s a big problem. :shock:

    • Asteroth

      Totally right, a wedding party has accountants FFS. Would never go to one in china again.

  • meh

    meh. chinese girls are realistic. love isnt everlasting.

    • Restaurant Unemployee

      i think you should say there are no guarantees

      relationships end – but a relationship built on money will definitely end – when the money does. since money is not guaranteed, either.

      i know many old white couples who have been together for 20,30,40,50 years. some are very happy, some are miserable.

      all of these conversations revolve around generalizations.

  • sarah

    I really think it is not just Chinese women/girls. Being materialistic may have something to do with underlying psychological issues.i I could be wrong. Feeling insufficient from economic reason or lack of self worth may contribute to it. We see it eveywhere in the world and not just women. Asian men are also materialistic, so are American and others. I have Chinese friends who are born and raised in Thailand-good families. They are not materialistic per se,but if you ask about them about husband,being rich is considered an attractive quality as well. I don’t think any woman wants a poor husband to start with anyway,but I think a woman who is confident and self assured may not consider being rich is the most attractive quality. Anyway, this comment may link to why Chinese girls like white guy. I visited beijing several years back and shopped with my husband. A salesgirl asked me,” he must be rich?” I said no,” He is employed” and yes, my significant other was caucasian..what do you all thik? Misperception?

    • anonymous

      Even in the west caucasian men can be perceived as having greater wealth. You are right in your assumption. I have seen ignorant women date caucasian men, because they perceive them to have money, and gold digging women make fools of some caucasian. I have wittnessed a relationship end because other caucasians people,upon seeing a woman who is African American, with a caucasian man, attempted to destroy their relationship by constantly telling the guy that she was with him for his money, or that she was poor and therefore was with the guy for what he had. I think the misperception of white men somehow having greater wealth is not just a phenomena happening in China, but elsewhere in the world. Gold digging, and Gold diggers are a worldwide phenomena. Materialism, is a worldwide phenomena,poor people who buy iphones, and cannot afford a place to live, kids killing each other for brand name tennis shoes, is happening in the west. If a guy is caucasian the perception is dating or marrying him is somehow positive, and that life will be better. I also see astute caucasian men who see right through the stereotype, and either use these silly women, or else avoid them like the plague. I explain to so many people that maybe they just worked hard, and used whatever resources they had wisely, and not all caucasian men are rich or have a lot of money. I have also met caucasian men who are improvished.

  • Ignatius

    Meh, I think love can be everlasting, but you have to work for it. Love just change with time, wich doesn´t mean that love disappear. In my family, my aunts, uncles and grandfathers are married for a long long time, and everyone still love his/her couple. My grandfathers have spent more than 50 years together. My mom and his new spouse spend near 20 years together, and married this year… She divorced my father long ago, whn I was 5 and now I´m 26.

    If in my family the marriage last so long is because my granfathers teached their sons and daughters to find someone whom love. Some of them are more or less materialistic but not enough to even endanger their love relationship.

    My point about the materialistic women is if you´re (too much) materialistic is because you´ve learned it. To be materialistic is not bad, but to be to much materialistic is a problem for the ones around you, even your family, because you will be unhappy and your family members too.

  • PL

    Just a thought, but I don’t think ‘Gold-diggers’ are a purely Chinese phenomenon. There are plenty in all countries. In addition, is it surprising when women are still not equal in real financial terms to men. Plenty of studies show that there is still a discrepancy between the salaries of males and females doing the same jobs in so-called enlightened western societies.

    Plus we still have a narrative tradition of women ‘marrying up’ in romantic stories – Think Elizabeth and D’Arcy in ‘Pride and Prejudice’. Let’s face it, would the story have been so successful if he had not been amazingly rich? Contrast with ‘Wuthering Heights’ where the only result of Cathy falling in love with the lowly Heathcliff is death and tragedy. In Britain the stage version of Cinderella, which we see regularly at Christmas, features a servant character called ‘Buttons’, who is in love with her, but she, of course, chooses Prince Charming. Why? Because he’s a Prince. The same story is put into a modern setting in Eighties movie ‘Pretty in Pink’, where the ‘Buttons’ character is her best friend ‘Ducky’ – however, the heroine ends up with the rich schoolboy who can afford to take her to the dance. Let’s face it, the message of nearly all ‘romantic’ stories is “Girl ! Marry the rich man !”

    Now, I’m not saying that all women agree with this analysis – they certainly do not. However, it is a built-in message in most societies, which have tended, over the centuries, to be patriarchal. As I mentioned above, there are definitely young and attractive women in Britain, the USA and various other ‘Western’ nations who will set out to get a match with a rich man. However, most of us posting on this site will not have encountered them, for a very simple reason – we are not in the financial league that they are pursuing.

    In China, however, Westerners are, rightly or wrongly, seen as ‘rich’ – thus there is more chance of meeting young women who are seeking to better their lives by ‘marrying up’ (or being an Er Nai). The issue is self-selection, rather than there necessarily being more of it in one country than another. At least, that is how I see it. I’m open to be proven wrong.

    • http://www.magnoliaarts.com TLB

      PL, I think your points are well taken and valid, but I have a couple of comments. First, while it is true that males and females doing the same job sometimes have different incomes, in the US that’s grounds for a lawsuit. So, it’s less and less common.
      Also, your examples of romantic tales and marrying the rich guy: those were all British examples, right? Great Britain is a bit more class-based than some other Western countries, wouldn’t you say? At least historically? In the US, there are plenty of movies where the heroine chooses the poor guy over the rich one — but let me quickly add, that the poor guy is always handsomer, more masculine, and in general just hotter, *and* the story usually ends when she chooses him — we don’t get to see how it works out! :lol:
      And let me quickly say that I’m not trying to bash the British — I’m a complete Anglophile and have spent many happy days in London, one of my favorite places on Earth. I’m just pointing out that not all Western societies have this message in their popular culture.
      You’re absolutely right that Westerners are seen as rich rightly or wrongly. Westerners’ salaries look so big to most Chinese, as they don’t know the context in which we live and our monthly expenses. An earlier poster mentioned someone spurning young men because the men could only afford to buy an apartment by taking out a loan for decades — that’s how pretty much all Americans buy their homes! :roll:
      You’re also right that there are a LOT of very material men and women in Western societies — what the relative maturity of our capitalist culture (compared to China’s) has taught many of us though is that this doesn’t lead to happiness.
      I applaud anyone, male or female, who wants to make his or her life better. Sometimes having more wealth can do that; but it is only one way.

      • SB

        As I’ve heard it described, an American family will buy a home with a mortgage and thirty years later say “We’ve finally paid off the house.”, while a Chinese family will scrimp and save for those same 30 (or more) years until they say “Finally, we can buy a house.”

    • Restaurant Unemployee

      we ARE rich

      even our poor are rich compared to them

      per capita annual chinese GDP is still only $3000-4000USD

      sure our purchasing parity power is lower, but how much is turning on the faucet and drinking crystal clear glacial water worth? how about walking outside and into a pristine forest?

      there are some things you can’t put a price on – but of course ‘certain people’ will try.

  • ziccawei

    I find this whole idea of Chinese Gold-Digger to be ridiculous. Of course there are many that are not like that, but there are also many that are like that. Shanghai girls have decided, en masse, that being a gold-digger is ‘cool’ in some way and so they have pretty much all decided to do it. Mob mentality.

    And there are those that can and those that can’t. In Shanghai there are many girls that simply can’t be a gold-digger – being good-looking is not enough. But many girls in Shanghai ignore this and blindly carry on, only to reach 29 and then panic sets in.

    I have known/know/met/etc many girls in Shanghai that arrogantly believe they deserve a big house, a car and a shit load of cash to be given to them by some guy in return for a marriage where the guy works his ass off and the girl just sits around watching tv. I met a girl, about 28 years old, VERY good looking and also very smart (well, smart enough to know how to deal with men). She now owns 4 big apartments and a BMW – all given to her by her various sugar daddies. I know other Shanghai girls over 30 and STILL believing that they have it. They don’t have it. They have nothing.

    That is the truly sad thing about the ‘gold-digger’ phenomenon in China is that in it’s wake it will leave thousands (yes, literally thousands) of refugees over 30 and with their lives in a serious state of panic.

    It’s typical Chinese thinking I’m afraid – sheer greed and wanting everything right now, refusing to wait. Well, typical modern Chinese thinking….

    I worked in one place where this dumb girl trying to convince her colleagues that she is 26, but she was actually early 30’s (and everyone knew because everyone in a Chinese office knows everything about everyone else) and telling people that her ‘boyfriend’ (no boyfriend) wanted to buy her a Benz as a wedding gift. One year later and the last I heard she’s living at mum’s house and jobless – too old now.

    Being a gold-digger in China is fine but it’s a gamble and many fail. In fact 90% may fail.
    That’s quite a risk. In business, no one would do it.

    • Teacher in China

      Dating in Shanghai sounds like a nightmare, Zic. I don’t know how you can handle it.

  • ziccawei

    I don’t round around Shanghai ‘dating’ different girls. But I do listen to what these girls have to say and it is quite shocking.

    It’s the sheer stupidity that amazes me. How can people be that dumb in life?

    Being in Shanghai is a very interesting exercise in sociology.

  • Moroes

    @Ziccawei.

    Its not gold digging that really causes the problem. Its the extreme competively comparing their lives that makes them resort to gold digging measures. When a Shanghai girl can’t get a BMW she will find a man who will buy it for her. Its a lazy option that most will take. You can already see as you stated how even girls will brag and lie about a non existant boyfriend that will give her a car.

    You see lucky for us Singaporeans are so good at English they invented a word for this behaviour and culture. Its called KIASU! Sure Singaporean girls can achieve so much by themselves, but their kiasu mentality can also bring the gold digger out of them too! Kiasu is the keyword.

    Oh its not just the girls. Its guys too. So kiasu they spend thousands at a club showing off their liquers on a table with hot chicks.

    All it takes is a friend that has it all. And then the jealousy kicks in with the “I want that too!”

    Let me say the word again and again.

    KIASU! KIASU! KIASU! KIASU! KIASU!

    Do they have this word in putonghua so it can make even far more sense?

    • ziccawei

      moroes – you are exactly right. It is this concept of kiasu that is fundamentally screwing Shanghai girls up. Too much choice, choice addiction and a strong desire to want more than anyone else.

      How crazy….

    • Guest

      Why do East Asian cultures all emphasise the competitive aspect of humanity to an extreme degree?

  • Restaurant Unemployee

    we have a word for that in Canada, too

    they’re called IDIOTS.

  • sarah

    I have read you all’s comment and come to the conclusion that one of many contributing factors( probably most important) to “golddigger”saga is men. It is a simple demand meets supply equation. Men want something those girls/women have and are willing to trade it with their money. Maybe it is a way those sugar daddies feel empowered. I don’t know,only speculation here. Come down to this..There is always someone for someone. If men who look for love aren’t smart enough to identify them and run away, stop giving them bad name “gold diggers”. One who looks for love will likely to find love. One who looks for other things will likely find other things. Anyway,I am in economist/finance profession and understand “per capita” well, we can’t use economic data to identify us being”rich” when over 30% of our income goes to housing costs. We definitely earn more,but our spending is too high and our saving is almost zero. I make a decent money,but never feel “rich”. You can compare apple to orange. Of course,we may SEEM rich in China,but when we are back to our countries and reality, we find ourselves as “average”. Have a great weekend,everyone!

    • ziccawei

      This is why the ‘Gold-Digger’ concept works so well in China.

      Chinese men like to throw their cash around and buy things to make themselves look good in front of their peers.
      Chinese girls are happy to let them do that as they don’t have much self respect.

      Chinese females are commodified in this country by Chinese men and the women are happy to be treated like a commodity, in fact many of them are proud to be treated like this. They often regard themselves as ‘clever’ because they got a Gucci bag in exchange for being shagged behind some guys’ wife.

      The key word here is ‘respect’, of which the Chinese often have none for each other, anything or themselves.

      • sarah

        I think you are rush to say that Chinese often don’t have “respect” fo each other for themselves. I am not Chinese,but have many Chinese friends, and they raise good families and have good values.This “golddiggers” things exist because of the behavior of certain population whom values are quite different than norm. They are everywhere,not jut in China.

        • ziccawei

          You are 100% correct. It’s just that in China, particularly Shanghai, it’s very prevalent. It seems really in-your-face whereas in other countries it’s more discrete.

          It’s the notion of people getting-rich-quick by lying, cheating or screwing their way into the front seat of a BMW.

          In China there seems to be no shame in that.

          • sarah

            I guesss you have more direct experience than I. I have visited Shanghai only once. I respect your opinion since you probably know more than I do. It. Is saddened to see beautifl girls/women head down that road of wrong values. Good luck to you. I believe some good women whom their hearts are beautiful just like their outer beauty are out there to be discovered.

  • Roy

    Honestly, I think “gold digger” is just another word for prostitute. A high class prostitute.

    “Okay I’ll let you f*ck me, just give me cash okay? I don’t care if you’re f*cking ugly, and you’re a f*cking jerk.” I do hope that guys who have self-respect tell these girls to their face how insecure they are.

  • http://www.canton168.com MakMak

    When you say “What’s wrong with Guangdong?” were you being sarcastic?

    • http://www.lovelovechina.com Crystal

      Instead of directly answering I will ask – “Why is Shenzhen known as capital of second wives”?

      • http://www.canton168.com MakMak

        Haha, sorry I thought you were trying to infer something negative on Guangdong (I’m Cantonese). My mistake.

        Sometimes I feel Shenzhen is just the entirety of China compacted together and not even Guangdong anymore.

  • GentleGiant

    When I was in Guangzhou, the girl I was visiting said, no one cares about anything but money in Southern China.

    The stories above are an extreme, they represent a fairly small % of the girls and women (in my opinion), but as consumerism takes hold, they will become just as bad as western women.
    THEN where will we go to find a decent woman?>?

  • http://www.magnoliaarts.com ZhuBaJie

    I wonder a lot about this materialism and my understanding of it. My fiancee I would describe as not materialistic — she is retired and lives on about $175 US a month and still manages to save. On the other hand, she recently asked for me to buy her an Omega watch — what??? :shock: I’ve never paid more than $100 for a watch in my life. She thinks because I’m American and have a good salary (especially when converted to RMB) that I have a lot of money — actually I have very little money. As Restaurant Unemployee says, what I do have is clean water to drink out of my tap, clean air (relatively) to breathe, and in my case a nice, though small, condo overlooking a canyon thick with trees, a decent car, central air and heat, etc etc. And that’s what I pay for. I have enough money to sustain my lifestyle, which is modest by American standards but probably in the top tenth of one percent internationally.
    Perhaps for the ladies it seems a simple enough equation: you have money + you love and/or want me = you buy me expensive stuff. Spending money on them would seem just an act of love then, and would be expected. The problem is, as I said, I really don’t have “money.” :lol:

  • Guy

    Well, when you have to means to run across one of these real materialistic girls. Just know it is a game and you should not consider her as a real potential partner. Besides, when most women reach a certain age, there will always be someone younger and prettier who will come a long. I explained to many girls who I have conversations with here that if she makes it a priority that material wealth is most important in a relationship. Then I will consider her no different than a Beamer. Eventually the car will age and become worthless. So, as long as I have the means. I will go attain a newer model. Most men who are financially well off are not stupid. They too realize that their wealth will last a lot longer than her looks.

    • Bored in Melbourne

      Excellent post Guy. Turning yourself into a commodity is a slippery slope.

  • Bored in Melbourne

    I detect some political correctness creeping into this blog topic. What is wrong with calling out bad behaviour when it is so obvious, right in front of your nose.

    Yes there is a HUGE problem with shallow materialistic greedy people in China, both sexes. Making excuses such as the fact that materialistic people are found everywhere is hardly a valid point. The problem with massive rapid growth is that the new China is full of people with no real sense of self and certainly no sense of style. I meet too many young girls and guys willing and wanting to spend huge amounts of money on anything branded to show off to the world how great they are. They often look like rubbish because just getting hold of a luxury brand name product does not mean that you wear it well.

    Money and expensive product does not equal style, you cannot buy style. It is a tough concept to accept when you are a young Chinese looking to show off.

    I sometimes wonder if this generation will ever have a sense of shame for how they behave? I fear not, as they look at the world poorly. To be happy for everyone to see how you have screwed anyone to get your hands on a ride in a BMW is nothing to want people to measure your worth with.

    Yes it is understandable that you would seek out a good life and potentially a partner who would help you have the life you want, but that can also mean earning or creating something of value yourself. Otherwise as others have said, you are nothing more than a prostitute. The real tragedy is that too many Chinese do not understand that you should not want to be known for that. What a screwed up situation.

    • Teacher in China

      I’m inclined to agree with you there, especially the part about brands being so important.

      I recently started dating a younger woman who had never dated a foreigner before, and one of the first things she said on the first date we had was “I like brands”. I guess she was trying to show how hip and modern she was. I carefully explained to her about my idea that I don’t care much about what the brand is, as long as it functions well. I think she was a little surprised. Every time I wear something fake with a brand name on it, she’s always so impressed with what I have – “Oooo! Bently glasses! So expensive!”, and then I always tell her the truth – “Nope, they were 150 rmb at the Silk Market – fake.” She laughs, but I think she’s starting to get where I’m coming from.

      I teach an advertising unit to my Chinese high school students, and it’s interesting to see how they react to the information they learn about brand image and manipulation of emotions through advertisements. When they stop to think about it some more, it becomes more clear to them what’s going on, so I like to think I’m affecting a positive change in a small amount of them.

      PCness aside, I think materialism is one of the biggest problems in China right now – the lust for money is the main cause for every horror story you hear about fake medicine, fake paint, fake milk, etc. It’s all about making more money, screw the fact that you might seriously harm or even kill someone, even babies.

  • ziccawei

    Poor girls…. I feel sorry for them.

    Most of the time they are dumb as a sack of frogs, but in their imagination they are the smartest person in the room.

    What will happen to them? This whole ‘shengnu’ thing seems to be getting worse. In five years or so there could be millions of these unfortunate girls in China. It’s a highly unusual social phenomenon.

  • http://chinesedatingsecrets.com/chinesegirls SamReeves

    We should remember that not sixty years ago western culture was much the same. Go back about a hundred years and it was exactly the same. Women married because they were expected to, and into families that would hopefully give them a higher status and material benefits.

    When I first came to China I thought Chinese women were very different from western women, especially in view of materialism. But if the truth be told, every woman in the world finds a successful man attractive.

    After some years I realized the only difference between western women and Chinese women, in respect of materialism was this: Chinese women will admit it, western women won’t!

    Funnily enough, the reason western women won’t admit to it is because of ‘our’ culture not being accepting of this in a western woman. So, they hide and repress it. But it’s still there. After all, Donald Trumps’ not doing too badly, and neither is Hugh Hefner.

    No matter even if a western female would adamantly deny it, it still translates in other ways in a western woman. So, if a guy is has some kind of talent she will also find that very attractive. Why? Because (and I learnt this from Chinese women) talent translates to ‘earning potential’, and so is a good benchmark of a potentially good marriage/husband.

    Western society has too much pressure for a female to conform to. There’s an irony! :smile:

    Having said all of that, I wouldn’t touch the Shanghai dating scene with a barge pole.

  • sarah

    Again,they are everywhere. I assume everyone who is in it and want to be in it knows what they are doing and up against. So game on for those. One who is not, stay away and be safe!!! :!:

  • ziccawei

    They are everywhere, sarah, you are right.

    The social context of it in places like Shanghai is highly different – and very unusual.
    I would suggest that gold-diggers in America are smarter than their Chinese equivalents.
    Chinese women are often treated like commodities here, not human beings.

  • Jay K.

    hey that psych article done by university of texas, one of the dr. in that article is my friend’s parent! and yes he is an abc and started laughing when he saw this article

    • http://www.lovelovechina.com Crystal

      Because he didn’t expect his research to be in the same row with tabloid posts? :lol:

      Actually, I recently contacted his colleague David Buss and asked him for an interview – so maybe one day he will be featured here ;-)

  • ChineseGirl

    I do agree that there are some very materialistic girls in China especially in bigger cities like Beijing and Shanghai. In these cities, how much money do ppl have decide how easy their life is. Everything is much more expensive in these cities. I think there must be different reasons behind being materialistic. But I want to argue for more Chinese girls who have been looking for the true love in their life. Not every Chinese girls are materialistic.

  • John

    I’ve been living in China for 8 years. My family settle here 15 years ago when my father opened a trading company.
    Chinese girls are one of a kind. What amazes me the most is that man of them have no experience in the dating field yet they have “the list” completely worked out. 1-house, 2- car, 3- good job, 4- good family, 5-graduated from a good university, and hell the list goes on and on. The funny things is that the verse “seek and you shall find” is pretty true and sooner or later they find someone that “fits the bill” and marry him without even knowing who he is, as a person.
    I’m a mess, myself. I was engaged two years ago and my girlfriend died in a car crash, that’s when i moved back to China. I found it that in SH, NJ, GZ, and CZ, all places where I work, is very easy to pick up women, married and divorced. Probably because they “found” what they were looking for and realized that -happily ever afters- like in the movies ain’t real.

    • Ignatius

      If those women seek money, cars and houses, they will find that there´s no “happily ever after”. If they seek for love and a good couple to be with, they can find it. It´s hard, but can find it. To be excessively materialistic makes you empty, with a void in your life.

      • ziccawei

        I think most Shanghainese girls will live happily ever after as long as they have someone to keep the money tap running. Shanghai girls ARE happy with only money. Money DOES bring them a lot of happiness in their lives.
        Other things, for them, pale into significance.

  • http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/investigate 911

    ~ oh to hear the confessions of the wicked, the demons, the damned ~ how humorous
    ~ all these pedophile in pretend-a-teacher’s robe, the bums on their white paper horses, by-gone herpes infected thrashing on inevitable insanity ~

    my karma destroy you all

    • Ian G

      :lol: Just wondering who you actually talking about mate… you in the right forum?

  • garylong

    i have all but gave up looking for a girl in china now, i don’t care if i find one or not, as i don’t have a house and i don’t see the need to have a house to make a girl love me, i can not change Chinese people to think about love the way i hope and the way the bible tort me, to buy a house or any thing for that matter to get a girl to be with me is just to be crazy, when i first come to china i was gave me a visa and i will be with you.
    the last woman i date she has 4 houses in china and she expect me to get her a house to, but i believe she has schizophrenia.
    after her, every girl i have met in the last 2 months just ask for money first and say (i will only date a man that will give me a house first)

  • Ian G

    Most of the girls I know or have met in China do not seem to be much like what seems described in previous posts here…. though I tend to travel more outside the 1st tier cities. I have met some girls, I have had some great times with them…. ;-) I have also met some others who I have come to know as nice friends… I have found that they are generous, share equally, have no designs on my assets… most have their own small (sometimes tiny) businesses and just manage to make a living, not much more… A couple of them have managed to buy an apartment.. None that I know seem to have any desire to “sell themselves” for assets. None regard me as a walking ATM, and most have no ideas of romance or marriage with me… One or 2 have broached that topic…

    I have met a couple of women who have boasted of their 3 houses, BMW etc.. I don’t bother with these tpyes at all.

    Not so different to women in Australia really.

    • garylong

      have you lived in Australia and dated and married Australian girls?
      if you have we know most girls now don’t want to marry in aus they just want the baby that comes from the guys cock so she can get more money its easy to pop a baby out to get more money from the government i know of a girl with 11 kids and she will get over 8,000 AUD a month, i agree with Dick Smith in many ways cut out the Baby bones then people will not have so many babies out of marriage or you just get the bones if you are married.
      so you say girls in Australia just want a house to yes to keep all the kids they have after getting knocked up so many times. but in china girls just want a house if they have a baby or not and as they can only have one baby in china most of the time and they girl will not marry with out a house lets face it you can not say they are the same. the buck stops to the fact Chinese girls have been so told they must have a money as they don’t know what love is, and its 99% of them are the same is true not all but most and 1 % of china is lot less but more then australia

  • Ian G

    Garylong: yeah mate, I have lived in Australia, and I have dated Australian girls. Have you? When was the last time you were in Australia? What about other western countries, where have you been and for how long? Where are you from mate?

    Ummm we? who is we mate? Start by excluding me for starters, and a hell of a lot of other Aussies.

    RE: “so you say girls in Australia…”What I said is in my original post.. no need to reiterate that here, it is a short scroll up.. read it. read it again. Get a translator. Get a good translator. Better get a native English speaker too. Try getting an Australian one who can tell you a bit about Australian culture. You obviously need one. Learn to construct a sentence in a way that English speakers can follow. It does not need to be perfect but it should be reasonable to most English speakers. Do not worry about colloquialisms.. North Americans and Europeans do not always understand the Australian slang. Do you?

  • Ian G

    Sorry garylong, I forgot to add the advice: if you are continually asked for money from girls in China, or anywhere else for that matter, then try going somewhere where the lights are not red, the skirts are not so short.. the girls you are meeting are called hookers, prostitutes, whores.. etc.. they are after money not love. Better you get a sex educator as well as a translator.

  • John

    A Chinese friend of mine (female) told me a joke about living in Guangzhou. She said everyone goes to work by BMW –
    Bus some
    Metro some
    Walk the rest

  • Ian G

    To make things really clear, the statement “Not so different to women in Australia really.” in my past post pertains to the first paragragh of that post, not the second paragragh. Just clarifying before any people start screaming “victim!/racist!/china basher!/Aussie basher!/woman basher!/man basher!/xenophobic!/XXXXX@#$ (add your own item here………) etc etc etc”! :razz: :lol:

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Pj-Feldsine/1341037773 Pj Feldsine

    Yesterday I started talking to a Chinese girl via a random QQ chat,
    and she immediately she asked “What’s your occupation? How much money do
    you make? What are your parent’s professions? What is their net
    worth?” Mind you she did this before even telling me her name. I
    politely replied that in my culture such questions are very
    inappropriate within the first five minutes of meeting someone, and
    indicated that I was not interested in continuing the discussion. I guess she didn’t go to that school because I can’t think of a single rich guy who would have gone for that.

  • http://www.myqute.com kelly

    Good article but you can be more precise by saying that this does not necessarily include Chinese girls from Singapore….not all of us are materialistic. :)