The following post was sent to us by a lovely Chinese girl who lives in Shanghai. She is in her late 20s, enjoys a successful career with an international brand company, has traveled the world and is perhaps typical of the “modern Chinese girl” :
My good female friends think I should find a man ASAP. They say I am not very young and that Chinese men really care about a girl’s age so that if a girl is above 30 years old they would probably prefer to find younger girl. My friends have a lot of female friends above 30 who are single and they now have a very difficult to find a man. Since they think it’s very difficult for a girl to get pregnant when you’re above 35, they suggested me to find a husband in hurry and not waste time. If I’ll just let myself get old then i will probably regret not getting married sooner and having a baby because – at the end – woman, me included, want a baby. I do worry that if I get too old I won’t be able to find a man and I won’t be able to get pregnant and have a baby.
I tell my friends, I can’t just find a random man to get married. I will die if I get married to a man that I don’t love just for the sake of getting married and having a baby. I just can’t do that. True, I want a family, i want a baby, but i am really not interested in looking for a ‘husband’ right at this moment. I keep telling my friends that I will meet a right person one day, but they reply that I am day-dreaming, still living in romantic fantasy.
They don’t understand me. They think i should meet guys and try to see someone, try to date, not necessarily find a random guy, but make an effort to find a guy I can love. I reply,yes, i meet lots of new guys when I go out with friends, but I’m in no mood to think about that direction.
Now, i don’t know what’s wrong with me, honestly, i am really not interested in anything or anyone here in Shanghai. Seems like I am not in such a hurry to get married. I guess I’m totally different from all of my Chinese girl-friends, and also from my family. I have a different idea with most of the single women I know here in China. They think girls must find a man who has a house and a car.To me, that’s just bullshit. I can’t see how this is the right way, I totally disagree with this approach.
Am I Chinese?
She would love to hear your opinions on her dilemma and thoughts.