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Asian women with non-Asian men vs. non-Asian women with Asian men

Interesting “discussion” going on in the YouOffendMeYouOffendMyFamily site with “More Proof that Asian Women Hate Asian Men and Love Non-Asian Men“. They quote from “Want to Date an Asian Women? 5 Reasons Why Asian Women Like Non-Asian Men.” :

Asian women desire to be with non Asian guys amost as much as caucasion guys want to be with an Asian women and are the 5 main reasons why…

Because of Hollywood the white male is now prized as the trophy husband. If you look anything like George Clooney, Tom Cruise or Harrison Ford your chances are doubled when it comes to having an Asian woman consider you as a real prize. How many Asian guys are famous in Hollywood? Maybe 3, Bruce Lee, Jet Li, and Jackie Chan.

White males tend to be more physically endowed. Again, how many beefed up looking Asian guys have you seen in real life or TV. There is a much larger number of white guys that have muscle and look like Vin Diesle.

A BIG reason why Asian women love dating non Asian guys is that generally Asian men don’t have so much respect for their women. A caucasion guy is much less likely to have a problem if their Asian girlfriend wants a more modern lifestyle in which she is greatly encouraged to be ambitious or to pursue her own career.

The desire to escape an arranged marriage which is very common in most Asian cultures and she simply might not like the partner that her parents have chosen for her.

She wants to immigrate to an English speaking country like the United States of America. This could definitely be her motivation if she lives in a communist country or a very poor country in which her or her family has no future. This type of reason is also more common of online relationships.


Which was linking to “Mailbag: (Non-Asian) Women Who Love Asian Men” :

But still, if you spend any amount of time doing research on the internet, you’ll find that in the last few years, there have been a lot more sites devoted to Asian male and non-Asian female unions so was Newsweek right? Are perceptions of Asian men changing? Some of our readers certainly think so. Following are some of their responses. […]

I do know a lot of Asian American guys who have issues with Asian women dating non-Asian men, but who not only support Asian men dating non-Asians, but downright encourage it without seeing any sort of contradiction. […]

So what do you think? Are Asian men seen as more sexually desirable now? Are there still obstacles or specific issues for Asian guys in getting with non-Asian women? Is there a difference between Asian men dating non-Asians and Asian women dating non-Asians? It’s 2010 and are these issues still even valid or have things progressed beyond them? Share your thoughts below.

This had me thinking of a recent post I read on ChinaSmack -Ode to the Chinese Male; and Lady Laowais Can Have Yellow Fever Too :

The reason why there were disproportionately so few Chinese men with foreign women couples is that the same distinguishing features about Asian people that make Asian women so attractive to foreign men: they’re smaller, softer, and sweeter – are the same qualities that unfortunately render Asian men unattractive to foreign women. […]

While my Chinese hairdresser agreed, he also proposed, with a smile, that it’s also a case of Chinese men not being into foreign women. […]

As crudely as she said it, I can’t help but think that for all the foreign women that come to China and turn their noses up at the locals, a healthy mixture of open-mindedness and natural acclimatization would help change their minds. My Polish friend Matty used to think all Chinese people look the same. Once when we were on the Beijing subway he jokingly pushed our Chinese Peruvian friend Anthony back into the crowd of Chinese people, and then said, “Anthony, where are you? I can’t see you!” The bastard. But after two years in China, Matty says this isn’t the case for him anymore.

Interesting comments over there as well.

 

Going back, the ChinaSmack’s diaspora project has quite alot on the issue with posts like – Asian Women with White Men Suck?

I keep a blog where I’ve occasionally touched upon my type of interracial relationship, particularly in two posts, The Asian Girlfriend Complex, and Ending Bias against White Male and Asian Female Couples?.
I wrote these posts because I am very much aware of the negative associations (of Group A) that are often attached to my type of pairing.
Compared to many Asian women I know, I’m perhaps a little too  self-aware (or oversensitive) of what my relationship represents.

The whole interratial topic has been discussed a number on times on LoveLoveChina with the recent post being – Chinese Women Western Men Celebrity Couples :

Statistics claim that the most common pattern among interracial couples is the one where White men are married to Asian women. […] I decided to do some search and it resulted in the list of 10 couples in which Chinese woman is dating or married to a non-Chinese man, and at least one of them is a well-known personality.

So, it seems like there are two lines of posts. One dealing with why Asian women are dating non-Asian men. The other whether (and why) non-Asian women date Asian men. Both go into the core of cross cultural relationships, stereotypes and biases, but look at it from a slightly different perspective asking slightly different questions.

No conclusion, just rambling thoughts. Would be happy to hear from you on this and the comparison or connection between the two “topics”.

  • Serenity

    So uh… what’s the discussion? Guess I’ll just comment on the pairings discussed in your post.

    Asian male – white female isn’t as common, no. I agree some of that has to do with physical characteristics. But there are many attractive asian men, even to Western standards. I’ve always said I would want to look like Chow Yun Fat if I were Asian… I seriously wish I could. If I had to make the hypothetical choice between looking like how I do now and Chow Yun Fat, I’d choose the latter. The guy looks like a badass. Anyway, my mancrush on him aside, I think it also has a lot to do with ‘confidence’. Chinese men tend to be more shy. Shy people get less chicks. In the West at least. I should know. I think a lot of Asian guys bail out when it comes to people outside their race because they have self-esteem issues. The idea that white women simply aren’t attracted to Asian men is something of a self-fulfilling prophecy as well, isn’t it? An Asian man thinks this, this Asian man doesn’t bother with white women. Voila, white women aren’t attracted to Asian men. Nonsense. More effort, more results.

    Why asian women date white men. Well if you live in the West that’s generally going to be your main source of men, isn’t it? Strength in numbers. That and the white-men-glorifying aspects that always get mentioned. As for Chinese or Asian women living in Asia, it could be any number of factors. Financial considerations (which is my euphemism for golddigging), exoticism, idealisation (The Chinese men I dated suck, ergo Chinese men suck, but these Hollywood films paint a good picture of Western men blabla sun and rainbows), seeking men of progressive values, or a desire of ‘something new’. Who the crap knows. Depends on the individual in the end, really?

    Personally I am just a sucker for foreign women. I psycho-analyze myself on this regularly. Negative and positive conclusions arise. Morally it doesn’t concern me. It doesn’t really matter where from (although certain groups have more relevance on my attractiveness scale). If there are forums for Irish, German, French, Swedish women I’d go there too. Realistically given my current situation I just come across Chinese women more. And it’s a more documented subject.

  • Orthodox

    The  match.com studies blew all of the socio-political theorizing out of the water. 1. Men are more likely to date outside their race, there is no “asian” fetish. 2. Women are less likely to date outside of their race and reject other races at high rates (black women the least likely to reject, yet still very high) 3. Asian women still mainly date and marry Asian men in the U.S. 4. The Asian female-white male pairing is often seen because Asian women are slightly less likely to reject white men, but their rejection rates based on race are still extremely high. 

  • Elijah

    It’s been statistically proven that of all the racial/gender divides, Asian women are more likely to have a partner of a different race when presented with a wide selection. All you need to prove this is look at census reports in countries with mixed populations. If you’re only looking at a homogeneous place like china or Japan or Korea, etc. then that’s like asking a desert nomad why they don’t eat sushi everyday. It’s all about what’s available.

    Yellow” Fever” is a ridiculous hold-over from colonial thinking that doesn’t apply to day at all. In fact when faced with the statistics what you actually see (despite match.com’s “study” sorry, but I don’t really trust a website centered around exaggerating numbers to increase membership) is although DO tend prefer their own race in a mate, men are almost as likely to prefer their own race as well. Ex: Caucasian men and women marry other Caucasians 91% of the time!  This is actually the highest numbers (including African women marrying African men 91% of the time) of all racial/gender trends.

    The most open of all men are Hispanic men who only married Hispanic women 74% of the time (Hispanic women stand at 75% of the time).

    Guess which group blows all the rest of them away? Asian women marry Asian men only 61% of the time! However that’s only for newly immigrated Asian women. For native-born (in the U.S.) Asian women, that number drops to 49% married to Asian men. In fact, native-born Asian women are the only racial/gender role to marry other races MORE than their own race.

    Of course, that’s only marriage in the US how about co-habitation? Well surprise surprise less than 45% of Asian women have ONLY had an Asian boyfriend or fiancee. IE: 55% have dated or been engaged or lived with a man of a different race.

    In china there’s little to no accurate date about inter-racial relationships. It’s especially helpful that the only acknowledged races in china are “chinese” and “waiguoren”….. However just going on anecdotal evidence, once a chinese girl has dated someone from “waiguo” she’s never accepted by another chinese man (unless she hides her past that is).

    So what does it all mean? Looking purely at the statistics available, I’d have to say that Asian women are the ones pro-actively making the decision to find a non-Asian partner. 31% marry a Caucasian man (that accounts for about 2% of the Caucasian men), 3% marry African men and 4% marry Hispanic men. 

    As I concluded here: http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_721fb3750100xvio.html 

    “it’s not the Caucasian male with “Yellow Fever” and “Pedophile tendencies”, but rather Asian females with “White Fever” and “Western” tastes that the world needs to think about”

  • Anonymous

    1) I think a lot of it has to do with Disqus and the increasing use of real name policies. In the west, it’s very bad to be seen as racist. Moreover, if you say anything that can be remotely interpreted as racist — “I have had problems dating Chinese men in the past because they were too sexist” — are you will be threatened until you are silenced. As a result, women with negative experiences won’t say what they really think online. They mostly just say what they think to people they actually know in real life to people in our inner circle. There is no anonymity anymore, at least not in the Western blogosphere. 

    2) All of the Western women I know who came to China were initially open-minded about dating Chinese men. It’s their treatment by Chinese men that made them stop dating Chinese men. Chinese culture is simply too sexist compared to Western culture. 2) The experiences of Asian-AMERICANS are not the same as Asians dating Western expats. That’s like saying Chinese and English are the same language because they both use verbs.3) I think the articles about Western women and Asian men may get a lot of traffic, but they’re not really presenting an accurate picture of what’s going on. At the end of the day, they just can’t account for the statistics. 

  • Ian G

    I know many Chinese women in China… all of them except for one who recently married a Chinese man, another who volunteered to me that she would not marry a westerner, and 2 others whose opinion I am not aware of.. have indicated to me that they would never marry (again if already married/divorced) a Chinese man. This is from a mix of rural, small and larger cities all over China. I also hear this opinion in other Asian countries.

  • http://www.chinesedatingsitesguide.com/ Dan

    I saw an Asian guy with a white girlfriend last time I was in China. It’s a pretty rare sight!

    A lot of the Chinese girls I’ve met are seeking Western husbands because they’re strong women and Chinese men prefer housewives, or they’re not considered beautiful in China (but Western men think they’re absolutely stunning).

    Western men must be doing something right because my Chinese girlfriend chatted to a lot of shop assistants with friends or friends of friends with non-Chinese husbands and I gotta tell you the non-Chinese men are seen as top notch marriage material!

  • Rick Lee

    I am an Asian man and I’d say 80% of my relationships have been with white women. I love Asian women as well but most of the women around me are white. And the more Asian women into white men the better, more white girls for me :)

    • B

      Im very much attracted to Asian men (I’m white hungarian) I would love to date one, but I don’t know if the men are open minded about it. It’s hard :(

  • kenny

    Why chinese woman prefer foreigner.Has many reasons of this like , love , respect, romantic, handsome, well educated, well sexual activity, if marry can birth more babies and babies can speak two mother languages, go another country live different culture and lifestyle, not need spend to life for nonsense (buy home or car by credits), less parents stress , freedom..Try to find true love. .Wake up Chinese Woman…