Cross Cultural Relationships : Do They Matter?

A few year ago, China Daily reported that interracial marriages were on the increase across China, in 2006 there were 68,000  interracial couples that were married, 4,000 more than the year before.

Following the end of World War II, interracial relationships and marriages became quite natural between Asians and Americans, today schools and universities are quite integrated and interracial marriages have gained acceptance in all levels of society. Given these facts, why are there still discussions about cross cultural relationships? Does it frankly matter what anyone thinks?

Traditional Chinese culture emphasizes virtue and ethics in balancing our interpersonal relationships including our relationships with our neighbors. In ancient China, people believed that treating others compassionately is one of society’s basic principles and that those who do good deeds will receive good returns. Does appreciating the culture and the heritage of one another matter today or are relationships and marriages all about opportunity, economics, friendship, affection and love for one another and should one be fortunate enough, respect and love for one’s in-laws and extended families?

What makes a lasting relationship? Is there any such thing today or are friendships and relationships, intended to be temporary, merely based upon a chance encounter and good luck? Are people simply disposable in our mobile society or do others really matter?

When one creates barriers between cultures or resists the good will, kindness and friendship of one another, we cheat ourselves of the intercultural enlightenment that may one day make a lasting contribution to society but more importantly we deprive ourselves and our families of the love and commitment that another has to offer.

9 comments to Cross Cultural Relationships : Do They Matter?

  • hongkongsupplier

    Not to be rude, but I didn’t actually learn anything new from this article.

    It almost seems as though you had a great intro, slight build up to some good examples or lessons, but then it was abruptly cut off and left with a conclusion.

    Lastly, I’ve yet to see “traditional chinese culture” ever come true outside of soap operas…. It’s so overly-romanticized that Cupid feels nauseous when he takes a peak…..

    No idea why I’m coming back here without Crystal…

    • Jin

      I think what Cristy means is that she embraces cross-cultural relationships and she doesn’t see any big detriments of this to the society. That’s because marriage is an important cultural and moral implication to Chinese people and that if one chooses to marry someone not in the same race, it must be that there is a very deep connection between the two that makes the inter-racial relationship work.

      I think in the same way. One can choose your love, and once cannot choose the race to love.

      • Jin

        Agreed. Many people who like cross-cultural relationship between the other race is more open-minded or liberal which a lot of Chinese people do not embrace. Sometimes the language difference does matter a lot. Back to the point, if one really likes the other in different race, there should be nothing that can stop them from loving each other.

  • hongkongsupplier

    Ok, fine. I tried the diplomatic route and now I’ll be blunt.The post didn’t teach anything because it was simply one question after another without anything to really explore each question raised. Not just that, but some of the questions were more obtuse than a 190 degree angle. And finally, the few statements and questions that were rhetorical were so utterly obvious to anyone that NOTHING WAS LEARNED.Now, I’m not saying that the topic was a bad topic, or that the skill involved was low level. In fact I applaud Christy for her efforts. However, the article went no where and was as deep as a teaspoon. I encourage her to go back and beef it up a bit with some of her own answers and the reasoning behind it.As for the question of mixed relationships…………… Let’s see…..I wrote this about statistics:…I wrote this about my personal experience:… wrote this about contrasts:…I wrote this one defending mixed couples:…I wrote this one defending LLC and mixed couples:…So…. I’m fairly well-versed in this topic. I’ve even shared these articles here on LLC before. In fact the only people who seem to be against mixed couples are racists and especially chinese and Korean men…. Think there’s a connection there?”if one chooses to marry someone not in the same race, it must be that there is a very deep connection between the two that makes the inter-racial relationship work.”OR….. it could the same connection that people have no matter what race each person has. Why would anyone need an extra-deep connection just cause they’re different races?? I think you’re mistaking inter-cultural with inter-racial, one is genetic and impossible to change, the other is mental and is influenced by your environment.Elijah

  • hongkongsupplier

    Are you frigging serious?? You’re not posting comments now? So it’s either:

    a) all comments are being put into purgatory until they can be censored 


    b) all “new” comments are being put into purgatory cause of the crappy new comment sections (ps. I’m one of the top 3 contributors to this site)


    c) you have to login separately for articles

    Way to kill the comments section.

  • Anonymous

    The trend might be true, but I don’t agree with your figures. The number of “interracial couples” getting married in China is nothing like 68,000.

    Why? Well, here’s an example based on my own friends and colleagues (I live in Beijing). Of 12 chinese-foreigner marriages, only 3 of them involve a non-Asian foreigner. Among the others, 3 are between a Chinese citizen and someone born in China who has taken foreign citizenship, 2 are between a Chinese citizen and an ethnically Chinese person born abroad, and 4 are between a Chinese citizen and another ethnically Asian (Korean / Japanese) foreigner.

    So, depending on your definition of “race”, only 25% to 50% of these relationships could be called “interracial”. More mathematically-minded readers might be thinking I’ve made a mistake here, and I should have said 58%, but actually one of the Korean guys married an ethnically Korean girl from North-East China, so they’re the same race by whatever standard you want to use.

    And because I’m a white foreigner living in Beijing, I’m more likely to get an unbalanced view of this because many of my friends are fellow Westerners. Considering the ethnically Korean areas in North-East China, or areas near the Vietnam border, I would be surprised if as many as 10,000 of those 68,000 marriages are really between partners of different races.

  • dave

    Great questions.  I look forward to the article that attempts to answer any of them.

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