From Crystal: This is the true story shared by one of my readers. However, for obvious reasons the names have been changed.
Meimei was Chinese. I met her when I lived and worked in China. We’d been together for four wonderful years during which I gave her plenty. Then I paid for her to go to USA as an au pair (the first Chinese au pair from her province in fact) with the promise we would marry on her return.
Originally, Meimei went to Denver, Colorado. She had several bad experiences with families there, and Denver being Denver, where there was still snow in May, she got quite fed up with being out of town and unable to get out. So she put her details on the Chinese dating site. Meimei told me she was looking for pen friends. Anyway, that is where she met Jackson.
He’s not young, has no assets, no education, nothing but a big bag of lies, which she swallowed of course. So she got this guy who is 50 (younger than me!) but no money, nor anything. In fact, before they had to downsize their house, he asked his mother for money (which she didn’t give to him).
Anyway, twenty six days after meeting him online she got married…
Can’t say how hurt I was by the speed with which she dropped me, and who for! It was between my booking air tickets to US for summer holiday, and actually getting there. I booked them mid-June (last year), she met this scumbag on July 12, and I did actually fly to US on August 3rd, the day before she married. Ironically, we were set to holiday in Orlando where Jackson lived.
Here is the letter I wrote to her about a year ago.
20th September 2009
You know I never gave you anything but kindness, generosity and deep deep love. You do know that don’t you? So I am very hurt with the way things are now. You seem to have forgotten every promise you made me. The last one was that we’d stay friends, stay in contact, and you’d send me news and photos.
So I don’t know why you have now completely severed all forms of communication with me. Actually that’s not true, I do know really. If you don’t want to communicate with me on a personal level, that’s OK, I suppose. But there is more than that. We need to discuss and negotiate about the house.
History: back in the late summer of 2006 (September I think) when you were in [name of city], living in an apartment in [name of district] with Alex, and I was back in UK, you telephoned me, in tears. You were very upset because you thought your family home was in imminent danger of being demolished, and you knew your parents had no money to buy another. Even though you were his live-in lover, Alex refused to help you. So you turned to me, dependable, kind Ted.
Although I was not beholden to your family, only you, I offered my help. In fact the opposite: I had no sympathy with a father who marked his young daughter for life. Initially the plan was to buy just a one-bedroom apartment for you, and my initial thought was about 15万RMB. But your brother worked on you, and you worked on me. And you had to buy in a hurry of course, the apartment you now have. Around the end of 2006, I transferred to you a large sum of money, £18000 which then was about 270000 RMB. I have all the banking documents from then.
As you know, all the money came from my savings, which were for my old-age comfort. But I let you have the money, with the understanding that you would return it when you married, and/or let me live there quite a lot. Later in 2007, around Chinese New Year, when we were in Hainan, you needed more money, for documentation etc., so I made another transfer to you, of £2000, about 30000 RMB.
Apart from money transfers from my savings in UK, I also sent you quite lot of money from my income in China. At least 10000 at the beginning of 2007, followed by several more transfers of 5000 RMB or more. Again, I have banking documents.
I found money for the fixtures, fittings and furnishings you wanted, including a floor for 10000 RMB which will outlast the rest of the building. And even while you were in the process of abandoning me, I transferred to your brother 2 sums of 11000 each, to buy out his equity in the house. I think you had agreed 50000 with him, so he still retains 28000 RMB interest. Altogether I supplied at least 37 万RMB.
Well, now you are married, so I want my money back. I need it to build myself a new life without you. I am not a bank. You acknowledged in skype messages and emails that you are in my debt, and would pay me back. Your husband talks about honour, although I can see he has none, because he reneged on the promise.
I was hoping your brother would have more honour than either of you. He offered me a sum of money, which I thought meant we could negotiate, he and I. But on consideration, I realise that he is working in collusion with you. I imagine this is your husband’s idea, to obtain the house at 50 cents to the dollar. I would very much like this business settled amicably. But you give me no alternative but to go to law.
I am told that I have a strong chance of winning. Which means you all would lose everything. I could arrange to put your belongings into storage, because obviously they couldn’t stay in the house after I sell it. Your whole family would lose out: your brother would have to move back to the old family home.
I also don’t know why your husband chooses to be offensive and abusive to me. I have not acted in any way to justify his words. They just make a complicated situation worse. In particular, no way do I want him to enjoy a single penny of my property, nor set foot on it.
Final offer – choose one:
1. You pay me back immediately 370000 RMB or US$54000.
2. You agree to make me the sole owner of the property.
3. You sign a legally binding contract to pay me back at a nominal interest rate of 1.95% per annum, with an up-front lump sum payment. The house is the security. 120 monthly payments, in US$ to my bank outside China. See attached spreadsheet schedule. NB: RMB amounts are for illustration, what I want is US$. I cannot extend it beyond 120 months, because I don’t think the house will last any longer. In any case, remember I just celebrated my 62nd birthday?
4. I take you to court and win.
You want to know what happened since then? Nothing.
Her husband and her brother kept everything. I did try to take legal action in China, but that requires giving the judge a “present” even just to have the case heard. Not going to throw good money after bad. Also, I considered taking action in Florida, where they both now live (they had to move house because they couldn’t afford the rent). But no real point, because they had nothing there to give if I won. She didn´t get all my money though – I have just bought my own house in US, as an investment.
Apart from the obvious sex, I really miss her presence – I could talk to her like to nobody else. She has recently got her green card, and they had to sell something to make a trip back to China at the beginning of this month. I am actually a little surprised she didn’t dump him then, now she’s got her green card, but maybe that will come soon!