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Chinese Are More Shy To Buy Condoms Than To Have Sex

中国人买避孕套比发生性关系更害羞


Chinese buying condom

Imagine that you work for some local newspaper. And tomorrow is the World AIDS Day. Editor gives you a task to compose a thematic crossword for the entertainment section. Crossword where all words are somehow related to AIDS. Now, I ask you to take a minute and try to think what words you would use for the puzzle…

Most of my colleagues to whom I gave this challenge said that the first word that came to their mind was “condom”. Funnily enough, only few came up with more than one word at all (so, possibly the newspaper’s issue wouldn’t have a crossword :smile: ).

I am telling you this story in order to illustrate how strongly westerners associate the usage of condoms with the prevention of AIDS and other STDs. And I am almost sure that Chinese respondents would give a different answer. Because according to a 2003 survey, 17% of China’s population had never heard of HIV/AIDS and 77% did not know that condom use could prevent its transmission!

Condom boxesFor a long time (and in many places until now) condoms in China have been associated mainly with contraception. As such they could be distributed among population by family planning officials – but to married couples only. Advertisement of condoms for out-of-wedlock usage was viewed as a decadent Western trend unacceptable in Chinese society. Not surprisingly many brands of Chinese condoms feature mainly Western bodies on their boxes.

In the article “Vilifying and Promoting Condoms” Tiantian Zheng – professor of sociology from the State University of New York – recalls the story told to her by a 28 years old Chinese woman:

Although I am married, people always say that I look like I am 21.  One day after work, I had time to stroll along the street and happened to step into a drug store.  Dozens of colorful packages of condoms lying under the counter caught my eyes and aroused my curiosity.  I thought I should get one and try it out.

After studying them for a while, I still had no idea which one I should buy.  So I turned to the shopping assistant, asking: “Could you please recommend one with good quality?”  She looked me up and down, and then sneered at me, saying, “You don’t know?  You should go ask your clients!”  I was dumbfounded.  I was so angry with her words that I stood there and could not say a word.  Tears rolled down my eyes.  I left the store, crying the whole way home and swore that I would never buy condoms again.

Thus, in today’s China we have a paradoxical situation when people are liberal enough to enjoy sex (including premarital sex), but feel too shy to talk about it and buy condoms. And the main reason for unsafe sex is not the lack of condoms but the cultural and psychological barriers related to their usage. Indicative are the results of 2002 survey in Jiangsu province where 69% of college students claimed that they could get condom if they need one, but only 30% said they know how to correctly use a condom.

In the light of this survey the following tragicomic story from Zheng’s article doesn’t seem unreal:

One of the owners of an adult health product shop told me that she used to be the leader of the city’s family planning office during the Maoist era. She told me many stories about condoms during that time.  She said:

People at that time came to me complaining that condoms did not work because their wives continued having babies. So I asked the guys how they had used the condoms. The men put the condoms on their thumbs and said that was how they had used them, just the way it was demonstrated to them when condoms were distributed…

But what do you want from rural Chinese living forty years ago when today’s Chinese sex education teachers are too shy to name the parts of human body. Dr. Marty Klein – renowned psychotherapist and sex therapist – describes his meeting in March 2011 with  sex education teachers-in-training at Chengdu University:

I emphasized, the effective sex education teacher needs way more than information and a curriculum; the teacher needs a healthy attitude about sexuality. That’s mostly what I’m here to discuss, I said.

And that was the biggest issue for them. Knowing what a clitoris is is one thing. Being able to say the word is another. If you can’t do that, you’ll never get your students comfortable with saying it.

These student teachers were unable to say the word. And it wasn’t just in the class – they acknowledged they’d never say it in private, either. So of course I had them say it a few times, until they were laughing.

Shyness is not the only obstacle for the widespread usage of condoms in China. Another issue is related to the underestimation of possible risks bordering with criminal ignorance.

Look at the frightening statistics gathered from female sex workers in China. One survey, for example, showed that in 2000 in the province of Hunan nearly 90% of sex workers ‘never used’ condoms!

And here is the reasoning given by one KTV hostess from Shanghai in 2004:

I know I might contract STI and AIDS doing such things (commercial sexual transactions). But I have been choosy, making sure that my clients are clean. I wash myself clean and ask my clients to do the same before we began. […] Generally speaking, I don’t use condoms. I only use them in the case of dirty clients.

Regarding KTV girls Tiantian Zheng showed how the dynamics in their relationships with customers influence the incidence of condom usage. Sex workers who insisted on using condom lost clients and plenty of women were willing to forgo condoms. When a client relationship repeated itself, it was considered insulting by clients to be asked to use condoms. As repeat visits were an important step toward establishment of “husbands,” there was powerful incentive to refrain from insisting on anything in case of long term client relationships which might lead to significant support.

***

As you can see the ignorance about sexually transmitted infections and their prevention is a true national problem in China. And there are many factors contributing to this sad (and dangerous) situation.

I just hope that the trend for growing usage of condoms in China, as witnessed in the last years (see the chart below) will continue and people will regard it as a sign of maturity and not promiscuity.

Condom usage in China

Just a blogger, Crystal Tao

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  • Josephus Flavius

    Interesting article! Sadly I think it’s in the interest of the government in China that people remain ignorant about sex, and use it only to give birth to that single little emperor/Empress. Want to know why? Read 1984 by George Orwell.

  • http://chinahopelive.net Joel

    Interesting. I just passed this along to a friend who teaches sex ed. at Tianjin University.

    • http://www.lovelovechina.com Crystal

      Thank you, Joel!
      I hope that your friend will find it interesting.
      In the upcoming weeks I am going to publish a series of posts about prostitution in China – so stay tuned in :razz:

      • Ed en Vadrouille

        lol, I’m writing a piece on this as of now :mrgreen: but viewed from the Europe/Taiwan perspective. Seems the themes of posts from yourself, Kevin, and some of us writers at YFFM follow each other. That hopefully makes for a good and thorough cross-read for our readers.

  • Django

    That is really shocking and sad about sex workers. Little do they know they’re playing with fire. Its hard to believe that kind of ignorance still exists these days.

    • PurplePeopleEater

      Playing with fire while wearing clothing soaked in gasoline.

  • ziccawei

    Timebomb.

  • GentleGiant

    All of the above.

    Although…

    If the problem of HIV becomes as endemic as it is in parts of Africa, at least it will solve the population problems.

    Sad and worrying

  • korean_guy

    Not only will China be home to the largest gay population they will also be the host to the largest HIV infected. Although China’s huge population gave them their greatest commodity – dirty cheap labor – it will once again be their biggest liability.

  • Peter Phelps

    I remember when HIV/AIDS first hit the media here in the US. It was just prior to my puberty. All of a sudden sex could kill you. Back then the media and general idea was that only gays or African Americans were at risk (sad that any race should be singled out for this type of stigma). Later there would be a greater emphasis on drug needle sharing. This was one of the things that made abstinence a more attractive option at the time. I also grew up in a small town where it was difficult to buy a condom from a pharmacy or supermarket because many of the clerks were the mothers of classmates, which made it a bit more embarrassing. My first real sex education class occurred in High School and luckily they used a dildo to demonstrate rather than just a couple of fingers I heard other schools in the county had in their classes. Today that would be too late to prevent disease or teen pregnancy that is now so glorified in our media today. Another factor that scares me a bit is how female puberty seems to be occurring at an earlier age. I think now condoms are much easier to get (from both free health organizations and now they sell them in the 99 cent store, although the later I would not trust in real life as a 9 cent condom is probably only good for demonstration purposes).

    Sadly people seem to have sort of forgotten the threat some now that there are so many drugs. Of course, there is only a very small percentage that can afford those. It seems like a huge game of Russian Roulette that I don’t want to play.

    Hopefully the government in China will try to become much more proactive in this type of education or there are going to be a whole generation whipped out by this. In America we would state that all the Johns that died deserved it for their sins, but that still doesn’t make it right.

  • Bored in Melbourne

    The astounding thing to me about Chinese men is the stupidity. The stupid sex workers are bad enough but the fact that the clients are also willing to have unprotected sex with a girl who is the most likely to contract any sexual health problems just shows to what degree the do not care about themselves, and also their family.

    In a climate of disinformation they are heading for disaster and my understanding is AIDS and other STIs are exploding in China as sexual openness has swept through the younger generations that perceive all westerners are very open and indulge in constant casual sex.

    I doubt much can be done to change it and due to the mistress culture I wonder how many government officials are already victims of the problems of their own making?

  • http://www.davidswills.com DSW

    Strange. Condoms are on sale in more places here (Anhui province) than anywhere I’ve every lived or visited. Every store sells condoms and they’re incredibly cheap. All my students seem familiar with AIDS and its prevention, too. I’m not disputing the facts – just saying that I’m surprised.

  • namenotgiven

    …”and other STIs are exploding in China as sexual openness has swept through the younger generations that perceive all westerners are very open and indulge in constant casual sex.”

    Bored in Melbourne,

    Thanks, I sensed this was the underlying issue for what I am seeing on some of the blogs about China, it is frightening that this is happening. Education on how to prevent STD’s, and HIV/AIDs is desperately needed.