Just like the opening sentence of my all time favourite show Sex and the City goes, ‘Welcome to the age of un-innocence.’ Being a business woman who’s single and had a taste of the forbidden fruit isn’t that easy. You have to deal with your own desires.
As a mid-girl in the transforming Chinese society, dealing with your own desire can be a dilemma for you. Settling down for the less and grab any guy which you can reach to be your ‘boy friend’ isn’t an option for the smart arse mid-girls. However, coping with your lust with decency is the ultimate challenge. Like I said, you grew up in the evolving society with loads of impact of the hippy culture which preaches the pursuit of freedom in your own way; on the other hand, however, you grew up under the influence of the parental and societal pressure of being proper the Chinese way. Striving a balance between being proper and being free is never easy.
What brought me to this thought was a talk with my friend A over a happy hour session. A is what a girl would aspire to be. She’s strong, smart, capable, determined and attractive. Not a classic beauty in Asian eyes, but she does have her appeal to westerners. Every single mid-girl has their own gay friend. She brought up the topic of hiring gigolo. Her gay friend who’s been single for quite a while suggest they go to China to have some fun with the gigolos to solve the dry spell. And it’s not that easy for him (the gay) to get a handsome Chinese guy all the time. She was confused why he brought that up and was hesitating.
When I heard that, I immediately thought of the story my friend told me about his adventure with his colleagues. They went back to Dongguang (the emerging new paradise for prostitution) to a KTV. The guys called for female ‘singing companion’ and the gals called for the male ones. One of his female colleagues paid for RMB 400 and she slapped the guy she hired 4 times straight and the guy was still smiling. Oh well, I was shocked when i heard that. I mean who would want to slap someone else without hate or something. Working for an ad agency can be extremely stressful but smoothing your stressed soul by slapping people? It’s not right.
Back to our conversation, my point of telling the story was ‘ hiring a gigolo isn’t expensive and you don’t need to have the “happy ending” ‘. For me, having a handsome guy for the night isn’t never that difficult as long as you dress up to the nines, keep the open gesture and you don’t appear to be too drunk to have ‘fun’. Ok, I don’t do it no more, but it was the case before (see how hypocrite I am). However, calling guy hookers can mean female power. You have a guy pleasing you by spending a few hundred RMB. That’s a bargain. Unlike guys, gals don’t really need to always go all the way to feel the pleasure. You can just be chilling, enjoying someone’s nurturing and pampering, kissing your arse (not literally). What’s more? It’s an eye opener and an adventure. That is the conclusion of our night. It’s a lot harder to find a nice boy friend than having a little sweet escape to China. It’s the next best thing and you don’t have emotional baggage coz you pay. Up till now, our plan to China hasn’t really been taken into action yet. It wouldn’t hurt to talk about it.
I wonder how mid-girsl deal with their own lust. Going out partying to pick up guys for the night isn’t an option if you still want to be decent and not to bad your name too much. It’s a crude fact. Who would want a wife who is slut and wild in bed not only to the hubby? And being a midgirl you can’t claim that you did that coz you were still young and having fun without too much care. You are old enough to take responsibility of your own action. Sad, isn’t it?
Having a fuck buddy or calling your ex might be an option as long as you are not emotionally attached to them. The golden rule is – You don’t expect anything more than sex. If you are expecting something more, drop it! I was actually hoping to get back with my ex, but after one time night, I knew for sure things wouldn’t work out. He’s not into that. And I got the signals. If you are afraid of falling for your FB (by that, I don’t mean facebook), don’t put all eggs in one basket. It’s easier for girls to feel something emotional along with the physical action. That’s the tacky part.
Or, another alternative is not human. Yeah, vibrators! Girls from Europe or America are used to having their fun with their ‘buddies’. One of my friends back in uni brought her own V friend from the states on an exchange program. Hmmm, will ‘decent’ girls use vibrators? I am a pussy and a coward! I still scared of using them even though I got two from my bday. I feel safer if the first time of using it is with a guy. And I am yet to figure out how to swift them on.
Guys can just jerk off in a toilet or something. Why can’t girls do that too? Hmm… We are still finding our way to sweep out the dry spell. Suggestion wanted!